Some people in this world just feel extremely safe to be with. The atmosphere around them is always so comfortable that you feel very free to express yourself and share your innermost thoughts with them. The cherry on top is they make you feel heard and you get no judgments. This experience is called psychological safety.
It is an incredible feeling to be in a relationship that exudes psychological safety even if only for that sense of security that creates the strong foundations that reinforces the bonds.
I see psychological safety in relationships as primarily the art of creating a safe space that is free from fear and judgment. Being that partners are free to express their thoughts, emotions, and vulnerabilities without fear of repercussion, they become enabled to be the authentic, best versions of themselves.
As you can very well imagine the immense benefits gained from the existence of such an environment can never be stressed enough.
How you create psychological safety in a relationship
The genesis lies in your deliberate efforts aimed at cultivating an atmosphere that is characterized by openness and acceptance. Such a feature will be the very essence of the psychological safety in your relationship. The following foundational steps will help you set the tone for that type of partnership we all desire.
First, in creating that conducive environment active listening needs to become second nature. Make it a point to always hold genuine conversations where the focus is understanding rather than merely waiting to respond at the first opportunity. To this end, you can lay some ground rules to ensure respect and understanding, and to discourage blame and criticism. Conversations where judgments are put aside as each person is allowed to express themselves fully and freely, tend to give partners a sense of being heard and acknowledged and valued.
“To this end, you can lay some ground rules that ensure respect and understanding, and discourage blame and criticism.”
Second, you need to be supportive and not combative during the inevitable challenging times. In such times, when the emphasis is on collaboration rather than on placing blame, partners instill in their union a spirit of cooperation that will constantly reinforce the idea that even challenges are not reason enough for discord, instead they are to be overcome together.
Lastly, because vulnerability (often considered a precursor to intimacy) also plays a key role in promoting psychological safety, you should encourage it by sharing your own thoughts and feelings first to set an example for your significant other to do the same. Displaying the courage to genuinely share your thoughts and emotions will most likely create a reciprocal environment where your significant other feels safe to do the same. The result of this mutual vulnerability will be a stronger connection that naturally flows from your deeper understanding of each other’s inner worlds.
Takeaways:
- Firstly, psychological safety engenders a deep sense of trust that becomes the solid foundation upon which a strong, enduring connection can be built to weather the storms that are inevitable in any relationship.
Since it encourages heartfelt conversations, it reduces the chances of misunderstandings wreaking havoc. The conversations give room for continuous learning and adaptation. - It also follows that psychological safety also engenders authenticity because an environment free from judgment enables partners to be their true selves without fear thereby deepening their connection, making room for more self-discovery and acceptance.
- Due to the spirit of collaboration infused into the relationship, partners are more likely to approach conflicts with a constructive mindset rather than resorting to defensive reactions, thus leading to enhanced conflict resolution in their relationship.
Relationships with psychological safety thrive because of that safe and secure environment. If your relationship possesses this highly desirable component, it will elevate your connections to a level of intimacy that goes beyond the mere superficial making for stronger, longer-lasting relationships.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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From The Good Men Project on Medium
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Photo credit: Jonathan Borba on Unsplash
