The Secrets to Guarding Your Heart

I want to start by saying that always being on guard isn’t the best way to go about finding love. But keeping the following in mind can stop you from getting hurt at the end of the day.

Never call more than once.

This one I learned while in a relationship. If you call twice, chances are you’ll call three times and by that point you feel ignored. Feeling ignored isn’t a good feeling, as a matter of fact, it’s a hurtful feeling. So call once. If they don’t answer — they’re busy. And that’s it. If they don’t call back in the 3 day grace period, ditch them — it’s not worth it.

You can double text, but never triple text.

Didn’t get a respond to your Thinking about you text? Follow up with a text that has a plan. Still no response? Delete the text thread and move on. They can’t respond within 72 hours, don’t give them your peace by worrying about it.

Let them know your expectations.

If you have any (this almost directly contradicts my next point but we’re not perfect).

Do you need contact every day? Tell them. Do you want to video chat once a week? Let them know. Do you need to see them, they need to know that. It isn’t rocket science and if they can’t give you what you need, they aren’t the one for you.

Don’t have any expectations

This one is easier said than done. The less you expect from someone, the less they can let you down. It’s easy to have expectations for someone if you have expectations for yourself. But they are not you. Just because you do things a certain way, it doesn’t mean they will or they should. Take the time to really learn how someone is before placing rules or expectations on them.

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At the end of the day, the more you focus on yourself and self development, the less you focus on them. And the less focus you have on them, the easier it is to love them or to not love them.

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This post was previously published on medium.com.

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