One of the most challenging days I experienced was without ever leaving my room. No drama, no chaos — only I with the dying cup of coffee in my hand, left alone by my running mind in laps against itself.
Overthinking does not come in like a loud guest banging on the door. It is quieter and sneakier. It says, “Hey, just think about this a little more just to be sure.” Then, hours pass. On top of that, sleep never comes. And far away lies peace.
My Story: Caught in the Loop
A few years ago, I remember that 2:47 a.m. find me lying in bed contemplating the details of some conversation I had during the day. I could hear my half-crazy voice repeating, “Maybe I came off too strong? Did I talk too much? Did they seem annoyed? Should I have put it down differently? Over and over.”
This was not the first time. I always used to replay texts I sent; second-guess decisions already made; and script future conversations just in case there was a situation where they would be required. I was on some treadmill stuck, going nowhere: full speed.
I assured myself it was “considerate” or “cautious,” but I was nervous too. I was deeply scared of making a huge blunder, very scared of being disliked, and terrified of everything that could go wrong. My brain’s overthinking had been its attempt to protect me; in fact, it imprisoned me.
Overthinking — is something that is not deep thinking. The mind goes through loops — where the thoughts are no longer useful and only become noise. You think. Then you think of your thinking. And after that, you judge yourself for thinking too much.
It tends to go in two main patterns:
· Ruminating: (past) “Why did I say that?” “I should have done it differently.”
· Worrying: (future) “What if I fail?” “What if they leave?” “What if I am not enough?”
It feels like you’re solving something: but really, it gets you stuck in a spin.
Why Do We Do It?
To me, overthinking has always been practically a compulsion to do something correctly. I could not bear uncertainty. I wanted clarity. I wanted the whole world to appreciate everything I did because I surely did. Maybe you feel that way too.
Overthinking tends to come from:
· Having already been hurt, now our brains desire to protect us from it.
· Perhaps being judged or criticized while growing up has made us feel self-monitored ever since.
· Maybe we are perfectionists and will not allow ourselves to act unless it meets an ideal.
· Or sometimes we just don’t trust ourselves yet.
Whatever, it makes sense to think that our thoughts have the best intentions. But they become toxic instead.
The Cost Of Overthinking
Does not shout, just steals. Slowly.
· It steals sleep. Countless nights I’ve spent staring at the ceiling as my brain plays on repeat those thoughts for which I have no business paying so much attention.
· It steals happiness. I have spent breathtaking moments on vacation, at a beautiful dinner, while walking, and feel still something is naggingaway at my thoughts and wouldn’t let go.
· It steals confidence. Every choice becomes a topic of debate, every word feels like a potential mistake, and you lose faith in your instincts.
It steals the worst: It Steals presence. Peace is found only in the present.
How do we regain that peace that once was there?
Here’s the rather slow process that helped me so far, one itsy-bitsy piece at a time.
1. Name it when it happens
The first time I witnessed myself spiraling in real time was life-changing. I remember thinking, “Hold up: I’ve already thought this exact thing 5 times. I’m just looping here.”
That awareness broke the pattern. Sometimes I even say it out loud: “This is just overthinking.” Naming the monster makes him lose power.
2. Set Boundaries With Your Thoughts
The therapist said, “If your brain wants to worry, let it. But only at 7 p.m. for 15 minutes.” Kind of weird… but it worked. I would jot down my anxious thoughts throughout the day, and then revisit them during “worry time.”
Most of the time? I didn’t even want to. The urgency had passed.
It is not the fear of making the decision; it is the decision pain that it will not seem to be-made correctly.
3. Write It Out Three
Journaling has provided me with a scientist’s counsel, touted me by my friend, and opened up to therapy. When thoughts become endless loops in my mind, they spill out on paper. Even messy, even half-formed. It’s not about finding answers-it’s about getting a deflected place away from all that noise.
Most favorite prompt:
“What am I really afraid of?”
More often it was neither the decision nor the fear feeling that had to be avoided at any cost.
4. Understanding That Ground Below Your Feet
When the mind starts to spiral, comes back to the body. I have walked repeatedly with my feet naked over grass just to feel present. I focus on how it feels in my hands holding a cup of warm tea. It sounds simple-but is pulling you back to the now.
5. Talk to Someone Safe
For some people, just one person saying “You’re not crazy. I’ve been there” is sufficient. When I confided to my friend that I was currently going through an anxious period of mental brooding, she smiled at me and said, “Welcome to the club. “We chuckled. That was an obvious reminder: I was not alone.
Speak to someone who will listen without judgment or trying to ‘fix’ you. Sometimes just a listening ear can settle your thoughts.
6. permit yourself not to have all the answers.
This was the hardest for me. But peace doesn’t come from knowing everything-it comes from accepting that you won’t. That you’ll make mistakes. That people may misunderstand you. And that it’s going to be all right.
Letting go isn’t giving up-it’s trusting more.
Peace Is Not a Destination but Rather a Choice
The brain-deadening overthinking has not completely left my life, though now, I can detect it more quickly. I treat it like an old habit that I have long since outgrown — “Thank you, but not on this occasion”.
Peace is not experienced in a single moment. It is experienced in that deep breath, in the letting go, in the deliberate preference for presence rather than perfection.
And so, the more you seek to practice peace, the more it feels like home.
If you’re reading this and you’ve felt stuck in your mind, I see you. You’re not broken. You’re just overwhelmed. And healing doesn’t mean overthinking again — it means knowing how to come back to yourself when you do.
You don’t have to think your way out of everything.
Sometimes, you just need to feel your feet. Breathe. And let go.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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