The Time Is Now: You Are Allowed To Stand Up

How often do you want to read the same articles, books, or even Medium articles about believing in yourself before you finally start to change something?

How many seminars do you want to attend, or which next healer do you want to visit before acting instead of thinking?

Don’t get me wrong if you read these lines as you are probably already on your wonderful development trip, which is fantastic. Nevertheless, I think that there lies far more potential in you than you can imagine.

The will to collect wisdom before acting is almost anywhere, but it is only an old structure of overcoming your fear and live your full potential. And please do not believe that you are alone with this attitude. It is quite common that modern society, schooling, and your parents didn’t teach you the relevant aspects of achieving essential goals in life.

Otherwise, these goals would already be in your life, wouldn’t they?

Shortly before his death, a wise guy approximately 2,000 years ago stated:

“Forgive them as they don’t know what they are doing!”

Nowadays this is even more true than ever before. Society, schooling, and even your nearest surrounding had no idea how to support you in the best way possible. They didn’t know themselves.

It would have been more accurate to say: “Listen, we don’t know how the world works. You have to find out yourself. But please remember — enjoy the ride, and motivate yourself by doing things you enjoy!”

Suppose you are lucky and already enlightened like Eckhart Tolle. Good for you! Keep in mind; even Buddhist monks wouldn’t see themselves as being enlightened. Or to put it the other way round:

“If you think you are the smartest guy in the room, think wisely and become a student again.”

Therefore, here are some hacks to a) see reasons for your lack of self-esteem or fears and b) to finally start acting towards your dream life.

Frankly, it is the most important thing to do: be an excellent example for all others around you by changing your behavior!

#1 the belief systems of society, school, and parents are outdated

How often did I hear by either my parents or other former authorities: if you keep on doing this (stupid) task, then you will succeed. And after a long, self-sacrificing life, you will get retired and can finally start to enjoy life.

The problem here is: this might have worked for your parents or maybe even for my parents, but if I take a closer look, this is not the truth. It was never real, especially not for the ones giving us these brilliant tips.

They forgot to enjoy their lives on their way to retirement. They were surrounded by people or situations that they didn’t like, as they believed that they could endure it long enough to achieve paradise through this.

“You go to work in order to receive money to buy things that you only purchase because you want to impress people that you don’t like.”

And this system is installed in you from the beginning of your journey. You can double-check this by simply listening to your parents or surroundings.

As they are less likely to have changed their mind over the years, they tend to stay the same. And there is not a wide variety of options available to them.

They stopped changing their behavior, and often go to the same restaurants, book the same holidays, and even tell the same stories about your errors in your childhood.

Furthermore, if we analyze your childhood or your time in school, it is shocking what content you are still using, and what was genuinely beneficial.

Let us face it. You hardly learn anything relevant besides reading and calculating in school. And while you are reading, you still speak out the words in your head. You could instead finally and only use your eyes to enhance your reading speed and capability. There was not that much development in these simple fields.

And how does it look in more significant fields? Like love, money, happiness, laughter?

Admittedly, who should have told you about these fields? It is one of the biggest lies of most of your teachers to state that in school, you would learn this or that for yourself. You did this only for your teacher, or the system.

It is like the whole system is in a deep level of unawareness. It talks about pursuing happiness and reaching goals, but what makes them credible?

Do you think you get the right answers to your big questions from teachers who choose their jobs because of their fear of being self-employed or because they didn’t know what to do after school?

Ask your teachers if they believe that teaching would be their dream job! The funny thing is, you feel the answer before you get it! The great teachers see education as a profession, and not as a job.

The same applies to universities. I love the quote of a friend of mine:

“If you are not able to do it correctly on your own, teach it!”

It is easier to talk about something than actually doing it. Therefore, one of the best courses I attended at university was “action learning.”

With his charisma and motivating words, my professor sparked something within the group. We got into action, and I founded my first company together with a friend of mine.

Urs, if you read this — thank you! You are a true master of walking the talk!

Shortcut to happiness in school /university: Quit whatever study you attend if you genuinely dislike what you are currently doing.

I changed my University lessons and my jobs as they did not suit my view of the world. And if this doesn’t work for you, and you fear the consequences, at least you could try to hack the system.

If you wonder how you can do this, see others around you that surpass you on your way. Some of them have their goals set and follow simple rules:

In school, they wrote what the teacher wanted to hear.
In large Fortune-500 companies, they do what their bosses tell them to do, and don’t develop their own opinion, or one day they have collected all their braveness and finally speak out what they are honestly thinking. Most of them then start their real profession. Or you could start a side-business.
In personal development, they attend seminars and seek help from brilliant coaches AND ACT accordingly.
In real life — they set their goals and don’t give a shit about the meaning of others.
In general, they don’t stop believing in themselves no matter how unrealistic their dreams are, and they enjoy the process more than the results.

A word of warning might be necessary here: these tips might drastically change your current life. But you didn’t like it anyway, or? Why not start to live the real deal.

#2 stop delaying decisions

Now, as you are aware that the ones giving you tips were not entitled to do so, you might want to rethink your fundamental beliefs.

Just ask yourself if your current life is full of joy, fulfillment, harmony, and fun. If the answer is yes, don’t change anything. If you answer truthfully, don’t fall back in old behaviors.

What I did it in the past was overburden myself with self-criticism. It didn’t help at all.

I wrote down how my life should look like in a movie three years from now. And I made this movie in my head as vivid as possible. The old saying “dreams are ten a penny” is entirely wrong:

“To dream and to envision is what life is all about!”

Every morning, I dream of myself living in this movie, and I enjoy my vision for fifteen minutes. The subconsciousness then feels a magical force to set the actions accordingly.

It cannot differentiate between things you see and things that you imagine. And both situations are equally attractive (if you dream it the right way!).

I act as if my actions were the devotion to my dreams. I finally came into action, started to eat healthily, ceased not caring friendships, and spend more time with important people.

I checked the goals of my surrounding, and if these didn’t entirely fit my own, I would stop spending time with these persons.

It all starts with you and your now different behavior. In the beginning, it might have been hard to change your behavior. You can check this on your own: try to wear your watch on the other arm.

It is unpleasant. And if this already requires such an effort by you, you should start doing more things differently.

Shortcut to happiness in jobs/relationships: You can imagine having a wonderful, loving, and good energy relationship and find out that this does not fully apply to your current partnership.

You could leave and will indeed find your dream partner shortly. Or you find out that you are already in such a perfect relationship.

And this applies not only to relationships! If you are not happy with the current situation, do not focus on what you dislike. Or to say it with the words of Esther & Jerry Hicks:

“Set your focus on what you truly want, and let the universe deliver!”

#3 start doing meaningful good things for others

And as you are already on your way to change something in your life-why don’t you start to care about others?

At the moment, the requests to perform more self-care is almost as loud as never before. Will this guide us to a more loving and caring world?

I think it is the complete opposite. The world is in deep need of people that are willing to do something for others. You must not act out of fear, e.g. by protesting or screaming, or fighting.

It is not wise to fight; you could do something for others. Everyone can make a difference, and not only in their own lives but in that of their surrounding.

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“There must be a reason for other terrestrial beings to be on this planet together with you!”

In 2019, I was in Zurich in a beautiful restaurant. I sat there with a good friend of mine. We both saw an older woman who could barely eat as she was weak and ill. Nevertheless, she managed to do so step by step. In the meantime, she also read a book.

I was impressed. The woman looked up and smiled with her warmest possible smile. I decided that I wanted to do something for her. Therefore, I secretly paid for her meal and went out of the restaurant without checking her reaction.

I imagined her smiling again as she would be surprised by this action. And I am still smiling about this small kind act of mine.

Shortcut to happiness in friendship/karma scales: Ask yourself what you can DO NOW to improve the situation of your nearest person or surroundings.

And then go to action! Do not only talk about what you could do. Please do it! You could hug (when COVID-19 is finally over), smile, compliment, or cheer for someone.

#4 sign the peace treaty with your past, and especially with yourself

Do not be hard to yourself at all. You can leave the fight with oneself to an expert: my former self!

I was an expert on judging my missed chances, hating myself for broken appointments, criticizing my body or thoughts, etc.

You don’t have to act the same way as I did in the past. Why?

Because life does not work this way! You might have been overly rigid towards your body, mind, or your actions. But did it help to hit yourself in the face after each situation?

Furthermore, everything happened for a reason. You might not want to be as thoughtful as the farmer in the following quote:

“One day, a farmer had found a horse.

The men from the town were delighted: You are so lucky!

The farmer simply replied: who knows what it is good for.

The next day, the boy of the farmer was riding the horse and fell off.

The men from the town were in shock: What a pity!

The farmer replied: who knows what it is good for.

The next day, war broke out, and the king ruled that every young healthy man should fight for the country.

The men from the town were again delighted: You are so lucky!

The farmer replied: who knows what it is good for.”

This story does not mean that you have to endure everything with stoical serenity. But if life hands you “interesting” cards, who knows what for these are good.

In any case, as you are already thinking all the time, why don’t you try new and positive thoughts?

I believe that we all can learn to treat our body, mind, and our past in a more loving way. You are at that point in your life because of every action and thought of you! And there is nothing wrong with the past.

It lies within you to decide how the future can unfold for you!

Shortcut to happiness for your inner self: Ask yourself if your self-criticism has changed anything in your life. The correct actions that follow the self-criticism lead to a better experience. Therefore, skip the phase of self-criticism, and start acting differently.

#5 start dreaming again

In primary school, I was always the strange kid, the one that dreamed the entire day.

I loved building castles in the sky. The other persons around me were not that enthusiastic about this.

Nevertheless, I loved to dream every single day. Until one day, when the school was getting too intense. My behavior did not amuse my surrounding. I had to change, as I was not strong enough then.

And today? I started to dream again two years ago. Before that, I was too busy to study, work, gain muscles, or earn money. I had to relearn dreaming!

How about you? Have some of your dreams already made it in reality? What was different from the other drives, goals, or wishes you had?

Would you consider to dream for fifteen minutes per day? You could envision the qualities of your future partner (or find out that your current partner has got all of these qualities), or you could dream of your perfect job, car, body, etc.

And who knows — the worst thing that can happen is that you spent fifteen minutes thinking about what you want. You can enjoy these dreams unfolding in your imagination. Take your time on this beautiful task!

And remember the results don’t come to you by you sitting on a stone and meditate. I love the term inspired action!

“Have fun doing what you really like, and become better at it!”

Shortcut to happiness: Ask yourself what your big dreams were when you were between eleven and sixteen. Then look at your current life. Wouldn’t it be nice to start dreaming again and change your life towards your inner dreams?

Final thoughts

You are the creator of your life. And I love that you are already on a great way towards your dream life. Keep in mind that you can change all your behavior at any point in your life. Why don’t you start today?

The best day to change your behavior was yesterday; the next best day is today.

Don’t let your past decide how your future will look like! I see a bright future for you — and you?

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Previously published on medium

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