The Top 3 Ways To Improve Your Relationships Significantly

In the movie The Good Liar, Roy Courtnay depicts himself as an aging British man with a sad, lonely, and miserable life. Yet, this couldn’t be further from the truth. He is a lying, conniving murderer with a dark history of rape under his belt.

Although he tries hard to impress his online crush Ms. Betty McLeash, Roy’s tactics and manipulations keep seeping through the mask, making it impossible to build trust with Betty’s grandson, Steven. Let’s be honest; there’s a tinny weeny bit of Roy in every one of us.

We’ve all got little habits that get in the way of our relationships with others. Fortunately, if you learn the delicate skill of creating trust, you’ll forge meaningful relationships, and your life will change dramatically. The following ways will help you do just that.

1. Connect A to B With Your Stories.

Okay, back to the movie. Roy claims not to understand German, but when they vacation in Berlin, Steven invents a way of exposing Roy by leading the three of them in a flat haunted by a dark past. Trapped in a tight wedge where his deception can no longer remain hidden, Roy has no choice but to reveal the ugly truth about his stolen identity.

Steven, disgusted by this, dashes out of the room. The point being, if what you’re saying has more holes than makes sense, or is laced with deception, it’s impossible to win someone over. People want to connect A and B in your story. They want to feel transparency between both of you.

It’s this transparency that brings forth an emotional connection — which is vital for building trust. Quoting an article from the University of Michigan, “Feelings of trust tend to be built in small moments such as when we show up for each other, listen when others are upset and when we prioritize our important relationships over other people and things.”

Being transparent means speaking in a relatable and understandable language. But let’s face it; we can’t always be transparent. There are aspects of your life you’d rather keep under wraps. It’s understandable. And yet, it doesn’t mean you should make up a story to fit your narrative. stories that hold no water will always come to light.

Sure, it may take a while, but people will still see behind the veil of deception sooner or later. If speaking about specific topics gives you ants in your pants, you can say, “I’m not comfortable talking about that for a personal reason.” Or, “I”d rather not talk about that today, maybe some other time.” Most people will understand.
2. Complement Your Words.

Earlier on in my job working directly with passengers, I learned what we say isn’t nearly as powerful as what our body says. If I said “Hello” to a passenger but was slouchy and gloomy, they would think I wasn’t sincere.
While words are significant, body language is incredibly powerful. You should use it positively to complement your words.

Avoid, scoffing, laughing, or yawning at someone’s idea. Harness the power of your eyes. While it’s not a measure of sincerity, eye contact is a powerful way of attracting attention and building trust. Psychologists from the British Psychological Society say it’s much easier to believe statements made by a person who looks us in the eye. They further add;

In fact, when a person or human-like entity (such as a human face morphed with a doll) makes eye contact with us, we assume that he/she/it has a more sophisticated mind and a greater ability to act in the world, such as to show self-control and act morally, and a greater desire for social contact.

When your body language is open and inviting, someone drops their guard, and the wall between both of you crumbles because they’ll feel relaxed.

3. Admit Your Ignorance.

If you want to be trusted, be honest. Steve Maraboli

Because we all want to impress and be liked, we’re increasingly uncomfortable admitting that we don’t know something. You think the other person will frown at your ignorance and think less of you. However, the opposite is true. People definitely lose respect for you if you pretend to know something you’ve no clue about.

The truth? giving misguided information makes you a liar, no matter how well-structured your narrative is. Deception is hard to mask and kills trust immediately. However, when you recognize your knowledge’s limits it shows your intellectual humility and sincerity.

But when you’re direct, open, and honest, your conversation partner feels safe to engage, and building trust becomes that much easier. We’re living at a time when everyone wants to seem confident and free of mistakes. As such, admitting when you don’t know something becomes extremely admirable.
Final Thoughts.

If you want to build a strong network of friends and business-minded people and meet your goals in life, you must be trustworthy, transparent, and honest. Start by telling stories that add up and match them with your body language. Don’t be afraid to admit you don’t know something.
Recognizing your ignorance isn’t stupid at all. It’s a superpower that makes people respect you. Start practicing these habits, and see your relationships transform. The cherry on top? When your relationships improve, it’ll have a profound effect on your life.

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Previously published on medium

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