Reinvention is a Verb, not a Noun
In some ways, there is no ‘completed’ reinvention.
Some people dislike this concept. They want to get through this shift and reach the ‘end.’ However, I think there’s also something reassuring about realising the ‘outcome’ is always a process.
Any path you’ve walked to get here was not ‘wasted’ time. Anything you’ve carried for a while had a purpose: even if you now want to put that project, idea, or value down.
Perfection doesn’t exist. And as a seeker, we’re not designed to ‘be done’ and then rest on who we are at any one time. Can you even imagine settling down with “the identity” and never growing or evolving? We want to reach for our best self, to keep learning, keep growing, to experience more. We’re human. (Or I am, anyway.)
And we can often get caught up in feeling like we can’t have an ‘off’ day else we’re ‘back-tracking,’ but as humans, I believe we are students for life. Always learning. In my opinion, it’s what we are here to do — our brain is wired for learning right up until the moment we die.
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The Pressure to be “Our Best Self” 24/7
Having a bad day, or even multiple bad days isn’t a waste. We may feel we’ve moved in a circle, but I find it’s actually a spiral, and we’re a few feet higher than before; even if the view is 99% the same.
It’s okay to have down days and still be reinvented. I had a day a few weeks back where I just cried all day. I felt broken again. All-day. And then each day since then, I’ve felt mostly-fine (often the not-fine bits were when I tried to overthink that day and ‘look for’ a cause) and I still don’t know what that one ‘off-day’ was about. And that’s okay.
So often, seekers feel stuck in a life in which they feel they ‘should’ be content with. You may be frustrated about the decisions you’ve made, concerned about ‘backtracking’ and ‘all this wasted time.’ Or perhaps, you worry about spinning your wheels, not making ‘enough’ progress, and not wanting to pick a direction in case you limit your options. Or perhaps in this world of people watching what we do with the rise of social media, you fear the judgment of “changing your mind yet again.”
Perhaps you’ve carried a dream around with you as a “one-day-I’ll-complete-it” but you need to either put it down and say goodbye and take action and get it done. And both of those options are ‘right.’
We never want North but walk South: we usually head north-east or north-west, so we feel ‘off track’ but are still heading in the right ‘direction.’
If you want to know more about this process, my Redefine Your Life workbook or Finishing Projects ecourse may be of interest.
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We’re Wired To Grow: Even When We Feel Lost
Think about that for a moment. If I look at my big life choices, I took Psychology at college, then university. I ‘failed’ to get into the pathway for Clinical Psychology in 2011, and was then accepted to study Neuroscience. When I consider my choices, I didn’t take Maths and then try my hand at sewing… Even those of us with multiple passions tend to make choices that are still relevant for, or related-to our end goal.
Each choice I have made essentially gained me some level of experience for one of my 5 Big Life Goals. Think about what you want to do with your life, and when you consider each ‘fork in the road’, I bet you’ll find that your inner compass guided you at least somewhere in support of those core goals.
And that’s without even considering the transferable skills, the experiences that have enriched your life, and even those lessons that told you what you do not want which are JUST as valuable if not more valuable information to have.
Although many of us are looking for a ‘real me’ beneath the surface, we do have the understanding, deep down, that human beings are always growing. Our brains continue to grow, prune and re-wire themselves even on the day we die. So although we look at reaching a space of the reinvention being ‘done,’ it’s just reaching the next level, with the idea that in time, the level beyond that will come.
Reinvention is a journey, and it has ups and downs, the same as any path. We have low days, and up days. We pause, plateau, feel we’re not shifting or making progress, and others where we have climbed the hill and feel a sense of that ‘new normal’ where we are more in tune with who we want to be.
It’s okay to feel like this path is tricky. It’s okay to want things. And it’s okay to not know exactly what you’re doing.
Just take each day at a time, and let your inner compass show you the way.
In short, trust that you do know what you want. Your body and mind have been guiding you towards it your whole life.
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If you are looking to connect with the power inside you, and feel less alone on your journey of personal reinvention, check out the Free Rooted Roadmap.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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From The Good Men Project on Medium
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Photo credit: 🇸🇮 Janko Ferlič on Unsplash
