Did you know that clearly communicating how much your partner means to you can greatly strengthen your relationship?
Of course, you did! But, are you doing it?
I’m willing to guess… no.
If you are a great talker and can remember everything off the top of your head, then by all means, tell them to their face instead of writing it down.
However, if you are like 99% of the rest of us, you should learn to write love letters.
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How I started writing love letters
I know, I know, you don’t want to hear about me. You want to know how this will benefit you!
Don’t worry, I’ll get to that.
For the majority of my life, I was an awful communicator.
I knew what I felt in my heart, but I always either couldn’t say it, didn’t think of saying it or was too scared to say it.
It is likely that you too fall into one of these camps.
One day, after fighting with a girlfriend (now ex) for days, I decided it would be in my best interest to just write everything down so that she could understand what I was trying to say.
It didn’t matter how many times we walked, my words didn’t matter.
So, here I was, writing for the first time in years, putting everything in my heart and head on paper. I wrote down how I felt (my heart), and tried to explain it logically (my head).
Anyway, by the end of it, I had an 8000-word essay which she did not read.
She didn’t need to.
The simple fact that I wrote a letter showed her that I cared.
Ever since then, I have been writing letters anytime I have trouble communicating what I’m thinking or feeling.
Practicing this art has also allowed me to write awesome birthday, Valentine’s Day and Christmas cards.
Oh! And practicing writing love letters has also helped me speak better. Now, with my amazing girlfriend, it’s not necessary (although she loves it when I do).
The power of writing love letters
Do you ever catch yourself thinking about how amazing your partner is and then later forgetting to tell them what you were thinking?
Maybe you were driving, walking, or just daydreaming, and you decided you should tell them. Later, you see them, and can’t quite remember the beautiful words you were thinking and feeling.
Yeah, I’ve been there too. That’s why love letters are so powerful.
You sit there and pour everything out on paper. But, it doesn’t need to be done in one go.
In comparison, sitting your partner down and telling them to their face how you feel… is great, and you should do that too! But, unless you’ve been rehearsing, you’re likely going to miss some important words.
When you write a love letter, there is no need to do it in one shot. You can write a little bit every day.
That way, when your partner reads it, they will get everything from you.
Love letters are so powerful for that reason.
On top of that, they can read it multiple times.
That can be very handy in the future. If you are ever fighting, chances are, they will remember one of your letters, pull it out, and remember your love.
A love letter lets them relive the experience of you expressing your feelings over and over again.
It’s beautiful, powerful and timeless.
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A step-by-step on how you can start writing love letters
There is no way around it. If you want to write a love letter, you need to dive deep into your heart.
Let me give you the most simple step-by-step process I can.
Step 1: Take the time to sit silently with yourself and dive deep into your heart
You might not like this part, but it is necessary.
Sit in silence and close your eyes. Picture your partner, everything you love about them, you with them, and allow yourself to feel deep love.
This is important to get yourself in a heart-warming mood so that you are ready to write.
Step 2: Write down a list of everything you love about your partner
This can be done on a computer or with a paper and pen, but it should not be skipped.
Write down in bullet form everything that you love about your partner and don’t rush it.
I would recommend taking a break halfway through this step. Chances are in an hour or even tomorrow, you will think of more things.
This isn’t a race.
Step 3: Write down how everything you love about your partner makes you feel
Now, expand on everything from step 2.
How does it make you feel when you think about how amazing your partner is? Does it excite you? Does it warm your heart? Write it down!
For example, I love how my girlfriend is great with my family and with kids, it excites me for the day that we will create a family of our own. So, I tell her that and write it in my love letters.
Step 4: List off different memories you built together that made you feel deeper for your partner
Bringing up old, beautiful memories is important in love letters. You want to be telling a story about you two together.
The letter should take them for a ride through your amazing life together.
One of the reasons that step 1 is so important is because, without it, you might forget some of your best memories!
Step 5: Compile everything you’ve written into a letter format
Now, take everything that you’ve written and format it like a letter. Tell your story.
I like starting with, “To my” or “Dear,”, but you can do it however you want. It should be written how you talk.
Don’t cheat and use ChatGPT. Your partner will see right through it.
Putting the effort into your letter will pay off by making your relationship even better.
Conclusion
Learning to write love letters will not only help you communicate your feelings, but it will also help you become a better communicator in general.
Love letters can be kept forever and I have yet to meet someone who does not love them!
This is the ultimate relationship hack.
Try it, and come back and comment on how it went.
Thanks for reading
Be love
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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From The Good Men Project on Medium
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Photo credit: Devon Janse van Rensburg on Unsplash
