For a long time, women have walked on eggshells when it comes to their sexuality.
Heck! They don’t dare express those feelings. Those who dared to admit their desires are either criticized for it or told to never speak of it again.
Even today, only 16% of women confess to experiencing orgasm every time they have sex. Some have no idea what orgasm is or how it feels.
Thanks to sexual disparities, more women have difficulty in orgasm during sex. In fact, about 19% of women do not orgasm from sexual intercourse, while only 8% said they experience multiple orgasms from sex.
What does orgasm mean for women? Does orgasm constitute satisfaction from sex?
Women don’t just want sex. They want to feel desired first before sex. If the woman doesn’t feel desired, sex won’t be appealing. And this leads to a lot of bad sex.
Women’s preferences in the bedroom vary dramatically, but there are a few things that most tend to enjoy.
In a study conducted by Indiana University, more than 38% of heterosexual women revealed they need clitoral stimulation to reach orgasm. While 5% avoided the clitoris as part of sexual activity.
However, orgasm remains the peak of sexual pleasure. But women experience orgasm differently and this may be why some people are confused about female orgasm.
Some reach orgasm through breast stimulation, clitoral stimulation, vaginal stimulation, anal stimulation, etc. Every woman has a preference for what turns her on, however, every orgasm has some things in common.
When you orgasm, your vagina, uterus, pelvic floor muscles, and sometimes muscles all over your body contract rhythmically.
Why women’s sexual pleasure is neglected by men
While most women feel entitled to engage in sexual activities, they do not actually enjoy it.
For example, a woman can easily give a man a blow job because she doesn’t want to have sex with him but she will not allow him to give her one in return.
Partly because of the stereotype that sex is considered a taboo.
Women express shame around their genitals. Their feelings about their genitals have been directly linked to their enjoyment of sex.
When the rise in hair removal came up in the 1920s, flapper dresses came into style, and women’s armpits, legs, and genitals became open to public scrutiny.
Most women shave their pubic hairs, not because they like it, but because they want to avoid humiliation. They think leaving the pubic hair disgust men, so they shave regularly to avoid embarrassment.
Women’s most intimate part is open to public criticism. The impression women have about their genitals has become more about how it feels to someone else than how it feels to them.
Too often heterosexual women use their partner’s pleasure as a measure of their satisfaction. While men are more likely to measure their sexual satisfaction by their orgasm.
Women grew up believing that sexual pleasure isn’t about them. Their pleasure is directly linked to that of the man’s pleasure. This is the reason the orgasm gap is higher in heterosexual relationships than in homosexual relationships.
If women want men to start taking their sexual pleasure seriously, they have to begin by loving their genitals in their natural state and stop being ashamed of their sexual desires.
Women should see sexuality as a source of self-knowledge, creativity, and power despite its potential risks.
They should ravel in their body sexuality without feeling humiliated or guilty for loving it. Women should feel more comfortable in bed and demand their sexual pleasure because they are as entitled to it as men.
This post was previously published on medium.com.
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