The Warrior's Shadow

Being quarantined during the COVID-19 pandemic has taught me a lot about my place in the wider world, in my house, and in my own head. Interestingly, I’ve found that my greatest strengths (positivity, resourcefulness, strategy) can actually become my greatest weaknesses. I call this problem The Warrior’s Shadow.

I am a man. When things are wrong I use my brain to find a solution and my muscles to build it. I make life better for myself and everyone around me. Except when…

My need to fix everything drives me to take on too many projects and I end up fixing nothing and instead cause a lot of commotion for others. Or when my wife just needs a receptive ear and I am so eager to offer a solution that I don’t give her what she actually needs – someone who listens.

Whether you know you struggle with it or not, The Warrior’s Shadow is an almost imperceptible problem that plagues many people with type A, entrepreneurial personalities. In this article, I hope to illuminate my Warrior’s Shadow in the hopes that you can better recognize your own.

What Is The Warrior’s Shadow?

The Warrior’s Shadow is when you show stress by hyper-focusing. When you try to fix everything and trick yourself into believing you have a plan. The Warrior’s Shadow ramps up your energy from a place of fear and directs it toward a purpose that seems meaningful, but is actually misaligned.

On the surface, The Warrior’s Shadow seems like a more healthy way to deal with stress than outright showing it, but that’s not the case. The problem with showing stress in this faux-productive manner is that it is difficult to pinpoint. You appear to be working from a place of inspiration, but in actuality you are working from a place of fear.

You get people’s hopes up and set yourself up for a clear failure once the dust settles. This causes you to unknowingly squander a lot of time, money, and personal connections.

My Warrior’s Shadow (How I Show Stress)

I was laid off from my job. I didn’t even blink. I didn’t care. The same day I signed a new consulting client and already built out a new website. By the end of the week, I had a few other business ideas and websites I was spinning up. I was busier and happier than ever. Or was I…

Driving home in silence I had an honest realization: There is no possible way that losing my job didn’t affect me.

I don’t care who you are or what you do, being laid off is a big life change. So, if I didn’t notice it then where was my stress manifesting?

I realized since the layoff my energy was through the roof. What I mistook for happiness and purpose was actually frantic energy. I was far from zen, stressing out myself and those around me.

I looked back at the multiple “businesses” I spun up that week. They were all half-baked and sloppy. None of them aligned with my purpose. Stopping to reflect, I knew they wouldn’t last and I had wasted a lot of my time, money and business credibility on doomed plans. So, now what?

It’s OK to Not Have A Solution Sometimes

Once I realized I was keeping myself busy for busy sake and that I wasn’t actually improving situations, I was at a loss of what to do.

It took me a little while to realize that it is ok to be at a complete loss sometimes. It is ok to admit that you are stressed/sad/scared at times.

Sometimes we have to toughen up and fight through the unknown. But sometimes the best course of action is to admit we’re stalled and take the time to zoom out and reassess.

Once I noticed it was my Warrior’s Shadow acting, as opposed to me being a warrior, I was able to clear the fog and more quickly and re-find my purpose.

Warrior’s Shadow Conclusion

Hopefully, this article gave you an awareness of the Warrior’s Shadow. Awareness is the first step to coping with this elusive issue. If you are a type-A fixer, I hope you remain solution-oriented but also learn when to reel it back. Sometimes the solution is to stop trying to find the solution.

Thanks for reading!

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