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Recently, the razor company Gillett launched a new campaign, “The Best A Man Could Be”. This was a very subtle deviation from their long-standing tagline “The Best A Man Could Get” and some people flipped right out. The Twittersphere and the Blogosphere and the Facebook posts lit up rants and memes and calls for a boycott. Somehow this challenge for men to be their best was taken as a condemnation, a statement not against toxic masculinity, but the male species as a whole. I did not feel this response. I did not feel attacked. I did not feel an unfair challenge had been laid at my feet. I wondered why; what was wrong with me? Why did I not feel that anger? Why was I not hostile in defense of my gender? Eventually, I came to some conclusions as to why I’m so different, why this call to action resonated positively with me while spurning my Y chromosome wielding brethren.
First, I have a mother. I had an incredible woman who birthed me, who raised me, who inspired me to always be greater than the world expected. She worked tirelessly. By day at an office, carving out tremendous success in a male-dominated business environment. By night at home, showing love and compassion and displaying a level of parenting I can only hope to come close to attaining myself. She is fearless, intelligent, loving, stronger than anyone I know and yet, supportive, even in my failures and weaknesses. She was my first inspiration, and still my greatest cheerleader. No matter what I did, she had faith that I would succeed, that I was worth all her best efforts. I figure these angry men, clinging so hard to their opinions of male dominance, must not have had such a mother. If they did, surely, they would feel she deserved their best.
Second, I had sisters. Two biological and two I inherited through my mother’s second marriage. They have been wonderful siblings. They’ve taught me how to share in the joy and how to shoulder struggles. They’ve taught me how to keep secrets and how to whisper support. They’ve shown me how to love, even in anger. They gave me a sense of strength, of pride, of responsibility for someone else. When my parents divorced, we had each other to lean on. When my mother remarried, we figured out that new world together. They were my first team and have provided me with people I know I can depend on no what matter the scenario. If I call, they’ll be there. If they call, I wouldn’t hesitate. These scorned men must not have been lucky enough to grow up with sisters. Otherwise, they would agree, they certainly deserve their best.
Third, I have my wife. The love of my life. The person who sees the best in me, even when I’m at my worst. The woman who showed me the potential that I have. Who carries me when I’m weak and inspires me when I fall. Who does everything without asking for anything else in return. The woman who makes me want to continue to be a better man. She stands at my side and challenges the world to bring it, because she knows that together we can handle anything. I know that I can only do so because of her. The slighted horde must not be so fortunate. To have married such a wonderful woman is truly a blessing, and not everyone gets that. If they did, there’s no way they would believe that she does not deserve their best.
Finally, I have my daughters. Four little girls who taught me something I could never have imagined. A level of love that goes beyond the love for someone who raised you. Beyond those that share your blood. Further than that for the person you’ve shared your life with. Love to the point that you would sacrifice everything, up to and beyond your own feeble existence. A love that hurts, deep down in your gut. A love that steals your breath. A love that makes you tear for literally no reason. I pity these men, for surely, they have not felt this love for a daughter. If they did, they would know, they deserve their best.
This advertisement, this slight change in the phrase, is not a condemnation. It’s just a challenge. It’s not saying you’re terrible or inherently toxic. It’s just asking if you could not be better. Who couldn’t be better? The notion of a perfect person is laughable. So really, what are you so angry about? I can’t imagine you’re not lucky enough to have someone in your life that does deserve the best of you.
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