These Are 5 Habits of Highly Insecure People

I’m sure.. we have all had those moments where we have felt insecure at some point in our lives. Well, I sometimes find myself trapped in those toxic habits even to today. But there is a difference between from time to time doubting one’s self and having insecurity as the permanent state..

You may have probably met that person at a social event who can only talk about the new car they have purchased… Or that girl who is always begging for attention on the social media platforms? Yes, you’ve guessed it — textbook insecurity..

But here’s the thing: insecurity is not only an inconvenience for the people surrounding the individual as most would assume… It is one of those things that are like a leech, constantly draining your self-esteem and preventing you from being happy..

Take a look at five habits of highly insecure people and how you can eliminate them…

#1. The Humble Brag

This person is familiar to all of us. They are always giving out not-so-hidden signals that they are great at something or the other.

“I don’t like how my abs look in such light, #GymLife.”

The humble brag is in the same level of the desperate attempt to receive attention and appreciation.

But here’s the truth: self-voiced people do not have to keep on asserting themselves in order to be recognized by others.

How to overcome it: Forget about the need for outside approval and concentrate on self development. Personal goals should also be set and the achievements should also be done in private. I assure you, people will see you succeed, without you having to go around telling them, every step of the way.

#2. Chronic Apologizer

>“Sorry, but can I just say something?”
“Sorry for disturbing you but…”

If you apologise for your existence then it is high time you wake up from your reality. Profuse apologizing is a clear indication of low self-esteem as well as being a result of a belief that one is a burden to others.

How to overcome it: First of all, try to learn when you are sorry more often than you should. Do not use “sorry” when you actually want to say “thank you”. For instance, instead of saying ‘sorry I am late’ you can try ‘thank you for waiting’ it’s such a small tweak that can greatly impact the way you see yourself.

#3. Perfectionist Procrastinator

This one is personal.

You want everything to be perfect so you begin your project and procrastinate until everything is in place.

Newsflash: It is a peculiarity of human nature that they never will be.

It is important to note that perfectionism stems from fear or failure and the opinion of other people. But let me tell you, done is better than perfect.

How to overcome it: Accept the fact that it is good enough; set achievable targets and time and adhere to them. Just because sometimes people are very successful it does not mean that they do not fail sometimes. It is something which is expected in the learning process.

#4. Comparison

In the society where social networks evolved into a dominating factor, people begin comparing themselves with others. You are just browsing through Instagram and watching people’s snapshots of perfect lives and all of a sudden you feel. .. lacking.

But here’s what you need to remember: social media is a well-coordinated facade. The one with the perfect abs that they show you that influencer is. They probably shot about 100 pictures just to get that ‘look like we are just taking a normal picture’ shot.

How to overcome it: Avoid social networks as much as you can. Do not compare yourself with others and what they are doing. And when you do use social media, go follow those of people that encourage you and push you, not just those that bring out the worst in you.

#5. Approval Seeking

It would be rather interesting to know whether you are a person who always looks for approval from other people. Adapting your opinions to conform to the standards of the society? Asking in a course or talk the things you do not wish to be asked or to answer?

Stop. Right. Now.

It is exhausting and impossible to live your life concerning what the people around you expect from you. This is why you can’t possibly make everyone happy, so you might as well make yourself happy.

How to overcome it: It is time to start making decisions on your own having in mind your values and wants. If you have to, find yourself in a situation where you feel you are being pulled in different directions, learn how to say ‘no’ to things that will not help you achieve your goals. Okay don’t worry it might feel wrong at first but I promise you it gets better as you go on.

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There is no need to worry and feel that you are insecure because your whole life does not have to be like this. It is a habit, and like any other habit it requires some time to get over. The first stage is the one where the people involved realize that there is a need for change.

When you identify these behaviors in yourself, then you are in a position to begin modifying them.

It is not a very smooth process but I believe that when one is able to go through it then it is very rewarding. Which is why at the end of the tunnel, there is no better validation than that of oneself.

Therefore, we raise a glass to imperfections; diversity; and, to hell with insecurity. You’ve got this.

Now, if you’ll allow me, I have to put my money where my mouth is and not look at the notification icon which tells me how many likes this post has. Baby steps, right?

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I hope you enjoyed reading. This blog post comes from what I’ve learned, what I think, and what I believe. Sign up for my Medium newsletter.

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This post was previously published on medium.com.

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