This is a written version of the opening to today’s Call with the Publisher. At The Good Men Project, we have been holding LIVE phone calls with our community every week for almost 10 years. Lisa Hickey, Publisher of The Good Men Project, hosts the Friday call. Become a member of The Good Men Project here and join in the conversation!
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Lisa Hickey: Hello everyone! Welcome to our weekly call with the Publisher, held every Friday. Today is Friday July 16th, 2021.
At The Good Men Project we talk about topics that are often provocative and difficult to talk about. We are indeed “The Conversation No One Else Is Having.”
But an interesting thing we’ve noticed lately is how these very difficult and provocative topics tend to work their way into mainstream media — often months or even years after we start talking about them.
Some examples are:
— When we launched, the first thing we started talking about was the fact that men’s roles are changing. We wanted to find a way to give men a chance to talk about how that was impacting their lives.
— We talked about fatherhood, and how fathers of today were making a conscious decision to raise their children differently than their own fathers. Without abuse or violence, with joy and caring and compassion.
— Also at our launch, we had stories from trans people talking about their lived experiences. This was well before trans people were seen on the news or in the entertainment world.
— We started watching our language, to make sure we were not causing harm. People wanted to make jokes about trans people or fat people or write “satire” about women — and we simply wouldn’t let them. It seems like a no-brainer, right? But you might be surprised at how angry some people got when we said “no”.
— We talked about the ‘man box’ and the way the societal pressures on men sometimes (or even often) caused them to live their life in a way that was harmful to themselves and others.
— We began talking about gender as a spectrum, about the importance of legalizing gay marriage, and how to make our world a more inclusive place for everyone.
– We started talking about police shootings of unarmed black people the day Trayvon Martin got shot — and haven’t stopped since.
– We mobilized with activists who wanted to get football teams to change the names from racial slurs against Native Americans. Years later, the Washington football team agreed to take the Native American slur out of their name.
— We talked about the disposability of men and CTE in football, long before most of the world knew what the initials CTE stood for.
— We talked about every kind of relationship, the full spectrum of sexuality, and the way that societal norms often prevented really deep, rich relationships by having this myth of “the one” person who would complete you and you could be intimate with.
— We talked about mental health, and the importance of keeping that conversation front and center. The importance of leaders and celebrities being able to talk openly about their mental health issues.
— We talked about climate change way before it became the status quo to understand “this is happening now”.
— We’ve been talking about reparations for people harmed by systemic racism long before it became everyday conversations.
— We’ve talked about Universal Basic Income, even when people called us “crazy” or “ahead of our time”.
— We even started talking about COVID very early on. I remember Thaddeus bringing up COVID in Nov. and Dec. 2019 on his calls before it ever hit the United States. And even me — even though I think of myself as being able to talk about things ahead of the curve — I remember thinking “Are we really still talking about this? Is this a thing?” There hadn’t been a single case yet.
Some of what we discuss are highlighting problems — but just as often they are highlighting solutions. We are always trying to “Solve for X”, even if X is racism or sexism or climate change.
Before we launched The Good Men Project, I talked to the original founder and investor Tom Matlack. And we talked about the vision of “sparking an international conversation about the changing roles of men in the 21st century”. That was Tom’s vision — not mine.
But I believed in it. I believed we could accomplish a conversation of that scale, of that importance.
“But…how?” asked Tom Matlack, seriously. “How can you accomplish such a thing?”
And as cliche as it sounds, I started scribbling on the back of a napkin. Or maybe it was just a scrap piece of paper. Still cliche. I started talking about tipping points, and I drew 3 circles — a smaller one, and then overlapping that a larger circle, and then a larger one still.
“According to Malcolm Gladwell”, I explained. “An idea gets to a tipping point by spreading from individuals to small groups to large groups. The point at when it makes the jump from small groups to large groups is when it tips.”
I elaborated further: “We have individuals talking about these issues. Authors and people who believe in our mission. We need to connect to small groups also talking about these things, or who are interested in learning — other small media companies, men’s groups, classes and schools. non-profits any small groups who share our mission. And when these ideas get out there in mainstream media, we will know they have tipped.”
Major media is talking about ALL those things we were talking about 2, 5, and even 10 years ago. We are part of a system that helps other media companies understand the zeitgeist of the world. Don’t get us wrong — they help us understand what is happening too. Collectively we figure out what’s important now.
And I am not saying all this because I want to get a pat on the back or a cookie. I’m saying this so you understand — this is part of a plan. We believe this is how social change happens. And we’re actively working on trying to help make the world a more open, equal and inclusive place.
I’d like to open it up to the community now.
Listen to the recording to hear the full hour-long call! And join our next call so we can hear your voice and insights.
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This post is republished on Medium.
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Photo credit: iStock