Things Your Young Adult Child Won’t Tell You

Another big bang! A rather sharp sound!

Parents! Don’t get too excited because I will only be revealing part of the secrets we keep in our minds as young adults.

Young adults! Don’t be annoyed because I want to leak some of our secrets.

Just like how a fist closes tight, all young adults struggle with many things and still act like they are having the best times of their lives.

On your side of the world, young adults might be people between 16 and 30 in age or less. While on my side of the world, young adults are anyone between 18 and 28years of age.

Regardless of that, the young adults I am referring to are people who have just left home.

If your kid no longer stays with you, that means this applies perfectly to you.

But if he-or-she does, then read this and get prepared because the tide is almost always the same.

Your initial relationship with them counts less

Once they are out of your house and staying on their own, they struggle with many things. Now they know that life is surreal. Adulthood is not a breeze.

Some have even given up and have resorted to drugs to ease their minds. Others have failed woefully at adulthood already and don’t know how to tell you.

Although it is partly true that they might not want to tell you, this is because they still have the feeling that you will be as observant as you were with them all along.

Here are some of the things they feel in the deepest corners of their hassle with life while living alone but don’t have the boldness to tell you.

More love less word: They love you more than they say.

Don’t be surprised by these because I know that some of you are jaw-dropped already.

Most young adults like me will show little to no recall once they are out of the house. They tend to reduce the usage of the three-word phrase “I love you.”

Every other time you talk with them, they show you signs of progress and try to fool you into thinking they are sailing perfectly through life and don’t need you, at least for now.

But the truth is that they still do. They miss you and still love you. Although they say it less often, they still do.

Atychiphobia: We have recurring traumas about not succeeding.

Well, most young adults will not side with me on this one.

But, even if your young adult child is an intelligent and promising kid, trust me, now that he-or-she has left your home. They now have the sting of atychiphobia.

They are so scared of not being successful that they sometimes put their efforts into a thousand baskets at once. Some are engineers, writers, and ad creators all at one time, while others are into more sophisticated professions at the same time. Having one primary job and two side hustles.

They are not too quick to talk. Some have just a little dose of that phobia, and others have more. When next you put a call over, let them be assured that success will come when the time is right.

Help them soothe their wandering hearts with words about timely success.

Secret anger: We are annoyed you didn’t warn us so well about life.

Yes!… You just read a subheading that might make you shit your pants.

Is your young adult child frustrated with you? Yes, he is, but he might not say it.

He is the most annoyed. You tainted your love for one another as well as his faith in you. With all the football nights you’ve had and all the father-son time or mother-son time, you’ve had.

You didn’t let him know that life is not as mild as mayonnaise.

That, it can be smooth and rough all at the same time.

What if your child is a female?

Your young female adult child is annoyed that you didn’t warn her enough about the male-dominated society. She is annoyed that you didn’t warn her enough about how society celebrates more men than women.

She knows this now and has accepted it, but she is just residually annoyed that you weren’t intentional about it.

They won’t tell you, but these are the thoughts they nurture in their minds.

Mouth full: We need your help sometimes

Regardless of your training or the mannerisms, you’ve embedded in them before they left.

Young adults who live alone have the highest rate of egoism.

Both males and females are very proud at this moment. Some might show it in full fledge, while others might give only little signs. But, know that your young adult child needs help sometimes.

You might even be a parent or guardian who asks all the time if he-or-she needs some help, but you‘ve stopped asking because every single time you ask, you get declined.

Henceforth, take that answer and respect their boldness.

Meanwhile, help them with gifts that are useful to them instead of sorting their bills. Quietly register them for a course you know they’ll love to attend.

They won’t tell you, but things like that will spark some light in them.

Deep observation: We are struggling with a form of addiction.

Now is the moment I just realized I messed up!

Most young adults seeing this will not be too happy, but parents and guardians, this is your lucky day.

You need to properly obverse your child more. More often than not, you need to give them an unprecedented visit. A quick stop will not be bad if you are in the same zip code or a wider location bracket.

But, if you are miles apart, a subtle unintended visit will be perfect. One that you could tie to having a meeting or conference around.

If you do this from now on, you will confirm that your young adult child is struggling with one addiction or the other. It might be a negative one or a little less positive one.

Most young adults are struggling with one or more addictions. They won’t tell you, but you have to dig that out yourself and help them out. Make it your last major personal project with them before they are set for marriage to start a new family.

Finally

Parents and guardians, don’t be deceived by the uptight relationship you have with your kids from when they were babies.

Now that they are young adults and living alone. Don’t think the seal of your initial relationship is enough to persuade their minds to tell you things. It is a new phase and a tough one. Start building another relationship that will make you friends more than just acquaintances.

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This post was previously published on medium.com.

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