If you’ve ever felt like your identity at work didn’t click with your identity outside of the office… here are some steps to help you be a better man at work (and at home).
When I first started in the “real world” of working for the man, I thought that being a good man and being a good worker were mutually exclusive. I used to compartmentalize my “real life” integrity and my “work life” actions. The Dr. Jekyl and Mr. Hyde routine worked wonders until I realized that ultimately I was losing my sense of self in both “areas” of my life. I began to marry those two phases of myself and realized quickly that it pays to be a better man at work. Or, I should say, it pays to simply be myself everywhere.
♦◊♦
If you’ve ever felt like your identity at work didn’t click with your identity outside of the office… here are some steps to help you be a better man at work (and at home).
1. Own Yourself
Own your mistakes. Own your challenges. Own your success. We sometimes say “take responsibility for your actions,” but I think this concept needs to go deeper. Actions are just the tip of the iceberg. What is your language saying about you at work? What actions or situations are you avoiding at work (out of fear)? How do you treat people, like leverage or like people? This level of ownership will begin to inspire an authenticity in your communication, in your relationships, and in your goals. And we know that authenticity inspires leadership.
2. Communicate with clarity
When I started on this journey I discovered Non-Violent Communication and now employ it ubiquitously in my speech and correspondence. This method basically breaks down to communicating “to understand” rather than “to win.” In the office environment, there tends to be a lot of verbal sparring and/or hiding – depending on your reaction to stress. If you want to represent yourself as a better man at work, take away the mind games and start communicating with the intent to truly understand and be understood. This requires listening, which we know is the best way to inspire real relationships.
3. Surround yourself with people who hold you accountable to yourself.
The easiest way to be great at work is to surround yourself with people who hold you accountable to being great at work. This means you do your best to distance yourself from sycophants or sicko-pants. If that lawyer you sit next to is an incontrovertible sexist, don’t hang out around him. The safest way to be sure you’re surrounding yourself with the right people is to spend your time around the water cooler with the other guy/gal in the office who reads the Good Men Project.
♦◊♦
Image by Flickr/Successful Business Meeting — Image by © Corbis