To Those Ignorant People Who Seek to Shame Autism Parents Like Me

To the “mother of four kids”
who said I was a “terrible parent”
and “I never treated my boys
the way you’re treating your son”
in the Barnes & Noble parking lot,

I have a request to ask you:

Stop.

Think.

Ask yourself this …

Before you criticize another parent
Before you make a smug comment
Before you shovel your shame on me

Ask yourself what qualifies you
to criticize, comment or shame me
for what you don’t even understand.

Did any of your four boys have autism?

Then be quicker to listen than speak.

Did you happen to see the antecedent
action to my tugging my son by his arm?

Then be quick to hold onto your tongue.

He rendered his body limp and laid down
in the parking lot as cars were approaching.

Not that this is an excuse for my behavior,
but it might provide you with some context.

It was a father-son game I didn’t understand,
and I got frustrated in the heat of the moment.

Most all parents have these moments of crisis.

Except …. you from what you told me.

Since you said you never treated your
four boys the way I treated my son.

After telling me I was a terrible parent.

You don’t want to know what I almost told
you … I will just say it wasn’t a pretty term.

But I held my tongue and didn’t say anything.
I realized you lived in your little glass castle.

Thinking how wonderful and great a parent
you’ve been to your now four grown boys.

Well … the next time you see another parent
I hope this gives you more insight into what

Might be going on with a struggling parent
and choose compassion over self-righteousness.

Thank you for reading my story.

—

Previously Published on medium

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