—
Trust is essential for any relationship to work, whether it involves a friendship, a work relationship, or a romance. When trust is present, people feel comfortable letting their guard down because they know they have nothing to worry about.
Lack of trust places fear and disharmony in the space between people, and that discord can lead to a variety of negative effects. Everyone wants to receive trust, but many are also hesitant to extend it for fear of betrayal.
Betrayal is usually the result of an intentional violation of trust, not an unforeseeable accident.
Trust is earned by being freely gifted.
Although most people believe that trust must be earned, waiting for someone to earn your trust works against your efforts to build a relationship. If you hold back expecting someone to earn your trust, your assumptions may influence the way you treat him or her. If you start out assuming the other person isn’t trustworthy, you’ll be less willing to share ideas and offer support from the start.
The concept of “earning” trust also presents a dilemma. For trust to be earned, one has to give the other person an opportunity to prove their trustworthiness, and that requires an extension of trust.
There’s really no way to avoid gifting trust to someone — at least once — if you’re going to discern that person’s trustworthiness (or lack of it). For example, say a business owner needs an employee to run the business while the owner goes on vacation for a week. The owners can’t know whether he or she can trust the subordinate because the employee has never been left in charge for longer than a day before. There’s too much at stake to delegate the responsibility arbitrarily.
The manager will have to be trusted with the store keys, security alarm code, till money, bank deposits, and daily operations. He or she will have to handle conflicts that may arise, make decisions for the business, and manage any breakdowns. The owner might prefer the employee earns a proper amount of trust before the owner goes on vacation, but how can the trust be earned except by offering the opportunity?
Price tags have the power to sway a person’s level of trust.
A price tag has the power to alter a person’s trust in professionals and experts. Sometimes, the more expensive a product or service is, or the more upsells the potential buyer is offered, the more suspicious people become. This happens online constantly with digital upsells, and to companies that try to get people to buy a string of accessories. Some products and services aren’t worth the price tag, but others may be, and customers have little choice but to trust professionals when they’re operating in an unfamiliar field.
Many industries charge good money for their services, and it’s justified by their expertise. For instance, take the average consumer who doesn’t understand how a car works. The driver might balk when a mechanic suggests new shocks to improve vehicle safety. Who gets new shocks? Isn’t that optional? To someone who doesn’t know cars, it may seem like an unnecessary expense. But a professional mechanic knows it’s the best way to shorten stopping distance, reduce vibration, and improve steering response.
Lawyers charge healthy rates for their services: a price tag justified by their expertise. Some people attempt to represent themselves in court, but lack the experience necessary to get the best results. People who face criminal charges have to trust a lawyer in the face of an uncertain future. They may not like the deal their attorney fights for, but they have to trust in the professional’s expertise and accept that it’s probably their best option.
Trust is more than predicting a desirable outcome.
Many people don’t realize they associate trust with a favorable outcome. Trust is easily earned when someone believes nothing bad will happen, and it’s quickly broken when circumstances don’t turn out as expected. For instance, you might have developed trust in a particular friend to babysit your child because nothing bad has ever happened when your kid has been with the person. The moment your child gets hurt in your friend’s care, even if it’s purely an accident, your trust may well diminish.
Trust accorded without conditions is powerful because it allows the other person to be human when unexpected situations happen. Trusting someone on a deeper level means trusting their ability to react appropriately and make the right choices.
Authentic trust can’t be consciously earned.
Knowing their actions are under skeptical scrutiny weakens the authenticity of someone’s actions. Any trust earned in this way is but a reflection of their ability to perform according to the other person’s expectations.
The deepest form of trust grows when a person’s actions operate under free choice. Only then can you be certain they are trustworthy.
—
This content made possible by site supporter Larry Alton.
—
What’s your take on what you just read? Comment below or write a response and submit to us your own point of view or reaction here at the red box, below, which links to our submissions portal.
◊♦◊
Sign up for our Writing Prompts email to receive writing inspiration in your inbox twice per week.
—
Photo credit: Pixabay
