Mike Ditka says NFL execs should ‘shut up’ about their past wrongs condoning domestic violence. Michael Stilley says we need to stop hiding the truth.
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A male and female, with the appearance of an arguing couple, enter the view of a surveillance camera. Once the doors close, it begins.
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The man approaches the woman hastily, and spits in her face. As the woman approaches the male to confront him, he won’t allow it, striking a vicious hook to the temple area of his partner, his fiancé, and his victim.
A punch so violent, the victim looked as if she had lost consciousness on impact prior to the opposite side of her head colliding with a protruding arm rail. The only fortunate part for the victim, sadly, is that she has been beaten in public. The humiliation of cameras catching every moment, those doors will reopen to the public, and her attacker is a well-known athlete.
She won’t know that yet, though, until her fiancé is kind enough to drag her unconscious body from that brief Hell into a hotel lobby of embarrassment, confusion, and inevitable pain physically, and emotionally.
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Regardless of any ones reaction, it has brought attention to what has been a longstanding issue in not only the NFL culture
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By this time, we have all seen the now infamous Ray and Janay Rice video from inside the elevator. After a variety of reactions to the video, many people, including myself, wondered; “what did people think happened when they saw the prior video?”
Regardless of any one’s reaction, it has brought attention to what has been a longstanding issue in not only the NFL culture, but also society in general. Just ask Rog “the dodge” Goodell who has taken every opportunity in his few public appearances, since the public embarrassment of his failings, to let us all know that it’s not an NFL problem that it can “fight by itself”, and how they “need help”.
As much as I don’t like him taking the “it’s not us alone” approach to an issue he has clearly ducked, and is only now involved in after the most damaging evidence of his complacency toward a problem that has long plagued the league he is supposedly responsible for, I have to admit, he’s correct.
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In a October 9th interview with USA Today, Jerry Angelo admitted he believed “hundreds” of players involved in domestic violence went unpunished over his 30 years with several clubs in the NFL, most notably from 2001-2011 as the Bears General Manager.
Jerry Angelo admitted he believed “hundreds” of players involved in domestic violence went unpunished over his 30 years with several clubs in the NFL. Mike Ditka says “shut up.”
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That afternoon, while in a radio interview Chicago icon, 74 year old Mike Ditka, chastised Angelo for his comments calling them “gutless” and “If you didn’t do anything while you were running the team, then shut up. Don’t live in the past.”
During an October 10th interview with Comcast Sports Net Chicago, Jerry Angelo backtracked, wilting under pressure from the same group that provided him a nice living, and who turned a blind eye towards the very issues, in which he and other executives were complicit. He said his words were “twisted” and “taken out of context”.
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Jerry Angelo made the statements, “we knew it was wrong” and “I made a mistake”, for a reason. He hasn’t been part of the Bears or any other organization since January of 2012. It served no benefit except to continue spreading light on what Ditka and most others very obviously would have like to have kept in the dark. He took the opportunity of the current situation to try to help expose what has been the standard of the NFL; protect the shield by appearance, no matter the facts.
Jerry Angelo made an attempt to do what so many domestic violence victims are afraid to do; speak up. In the exact same manner that society has told so many others, he was told; keep quiet. It stays in house, where it can be controlled, and monitored.
During his tenure as GM, Bears players were arrested for eight DUI’s, three assaults, three drug charges, two gun violations, two reckless driving, one theft, one battery, one court order violation, and zero arrests for domestic violence. During that same span, 63 NFL players were arrested for Domestic Violence, zero Bears. So, either way, he’s correct.
It’s either remarkable that 63 domestic violence arrests were made, none of them Bears, or he did a fantastic job of “for whatever reason, it kind of just got glossed over”.
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In this age, the only difference change can and will be made is with exposure.
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The statistics on domestic violence are staggering. One in four women will experience domestic violence in their lifetime. Over six million children witness domestic violence annually. That includes as many as 960,000 incidents per year and most notably, the majority of incidents go unreported, the same way it has been for the NFL according to one former executive until, just like society, he was shamed and pressured into retracting his statements.
At least he didn’t claim he fell down the stairs and into a confusing interview. If there were 63 incidents in the NFL during his Bears tenure, and most incidents go unreported, and he admitted to “hundreds”, it begs the question; how many were there, and are there today?
In this age, the only difference change can and will be made is with exposure. Difficult issues require difficult actions. Standing idly by will accomplish nothing. A well-known NFL coach once said; “you get what you accept” and I agree. Being his own words, I now wonder what it is Mike Ditka accepts.
So, instead of using his opportunity to acknowledge and act on what surely weighed on his conscious after viewing a beating, in a climate, which he wanted to admit he helped perpetrate, Jerry Angelo, too cowered to pressure. Mike Ditka playing the part of the classic older “mans, man” who would rather keep all the skeletons in closet where they can remain unaddressed or dealt with behind closed doors.
Fortunately for Janay Rice, those doors reopened.
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If you see, hear, hear of, suspect, or know of Domestic Violence issues, use the many resources for help. Under no circumstances should we listen to Mike Ditka’s advice to “shut up”, make a change, and speak up.
http://www.dm.usda.gov/shmd/handbook.htm
http://www.safehorizon.org/page/domestic-violence-10.html
http://www.healthfinder.gov/HealthTopics/Keyword#d
http://www.domesticabuseproject.com/get-educated/compelling-reasons-women-stay/
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Photo: Flickr/ TheeErin
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Mike, THANK YOU for speaking up here. It is a complicated issue but we have collectively been far too silent for too long, a fact that has contributed to the pain, degradation, and self-loathing of many, many of us. It is common for readers to focus on what was left out or not said in the way they would say it (if they had the courage to put themselves out on the line by speaking publicly, reacting is way easier!) but change starts by seeing and describing for others even a small part of the elephant. I truly appreciate your… Read more »
Hi Janis,
You’re welcome, and thank you for your thoughtful response (especially “the right wolf”) :). .
To reply to the other comments; This was directed towards Mike Ditka’s reaction to Jerry Angelo’s comments and how it pertains to domestic violence, and not domestic violence in a whole.
Some of the other subjects you’re commenting on, I covered in this piece ;
https://goodmenproject.com/featured-content/mkdn-roger-s-goodell-will-please-go-now/
New to Twitter as well @NotIn140 — 2 tweets, following 20 something, 1 follower — (yes, seriously)
Thanks for all the feedback. Have a good one..
Ok. Again, thank you for your opinion. Have a good day.
All the comments are accurate in their own way. Yes, domestic violence does not have one gender, but this was specifically addressing Ditka’s response and the general climate of the NFL and their indifference towards the issue. It was not/ is not an omission by “ignorance” but by topic. Had the article been on domestic violence alone, it would have been addressed. As far as Ditka’s response, I recognize he was speaking on if/when Angelo didn’t do anything, but the point is that in spite of Angelo speaking up later to acknowledge his past failings, he was essentially told to… Read more »
Your article would have been greatly improved if it had looked at how badly the NFL failed it’s players by not making the whole discussion genderless. Wouldn’t showing how “big n’ bad” linebackers can be the victim of a abusive spouse open space for a national dialogue about DV? Missed your chance to stand out rather than be part of the chorus
And I absolutely agree that the issue – whether committed by men or women – should be talked about. We are certainly having those discussions as well.
This is an article on the NFL and DV.
I don’t think anyone is saying here that female domestic violence doesn’t happen.
So as this is an article about DV…….Why wouldn’t you want mentioned the second most common form of it? As statisticly a fair amount of players have to be victims of their wives / partners why is there no new reporting / counseling service for all members of the NFL and their families irrespective of gender or orientation?
I think Ditka wasn’t so much saying “shut up” to perpetuate a coverup, but was annoyed by what I perceive to be a ‘mealy mouth’ response. As G.M., if this happened on your watch, YOU WOULD KNOW ABOUT IT! So, did it happen or not? I mean, enough with the ‘Sgt. Schultz’ impression! So, I think Ditka meant (I know, I’m guessing) put up, or shut up.
“The statistics on domestic violence are staggering. One in four women will experience domestic violence in their lifetime. Over six million children witness domestic violence annually”
And this is how the ignorance of DV / IPV is spread. Mention all victims except men…..Show men as only the aggressors / oppressors. Please do better next time.
So right! I keep seeing new stats that put female aggression in DV cases around the low 40% range. Who knows, being that many men are still reluctant to admit to being a victim (I’ve known several men in my lifetime, including an Uncle, who seem to “Walk into a door” quite frequently) it might actually be higher.