Ugh…I Can’t Eat Your Stew. The End of a Relationship

Mariah Edelstein was a fantastic woman. She was extremely intelligent and had a great sense of humour. She had a very pretty face and loved working out. Alan Marcus thought she was the answer to his prayers. He was twenty four and had gone on a number of dates but just couldn’t find the woman he wanted to spend his life with. All that changed the second he met Mariah.

They were introduced by a mutual friend, Lacey Switzer who Alan had known since University days. Lacey worked with Mariah at Freemont Vacation Properties in the Marketing Department.

The first few dates had been casual and relaxed. Things became more real when Alan was invited to meet Mariah’s family at Thanksgiving. She had two brothers and they were both very cool guys and he got along with them very well. Her parents Frankie and Lilah were beyond warm and welcoming.

Alan spent the night at their Lake House and he felt like he was part of the family. He was looking forward to introducing Mariah to his Mom and Dad and Brother and Sister.

Mariah snuck into the guest room over Thanksgiving (3:00 am) and they had a fantastic time fooling around. Mariah whispered that they were being naughty but it was a thrill. She had always wanted to screw around with a boyfriend while her parents were sleeping doors away. It was kind of strange, but Alan enjoyed their clandestine sex.

When they left the Edelstein cottage the next morning, the deal was pretty much sealed. They knew they were meant for each other. Things were going incredibly well.

Mariah told Alan she had a huge surprise for him and wanted to have him over for dinner on Saturday night. She said she was making a family specialty.

On Saturday evening, Alan stopped and bought a dozen purple roses. He knew they meant something, he just didn’t know what.

When he arrived at her Condo, Mariah was wearing an apron that read ‘’Kiss The Cook’’ so he took great pleasure in living up to the command. She poured Cabernet Sauvignon (she was pairing dinner) and then she brought out the main course, Stew. Alan felt nauseous.

He had bad memories of Stew and never ate the stuff. He tried to explain to Mariah how much he appreciated her efforts, but he had to pass on eating what she had made. Every time he looked at it, he felt nauseous. Her response was not what he expected. She looked at him with almost anger in her eyes, with zero empathy and understanding. ‘’Alan, I used up some really excellent meat to make this Stew. It’s a recipe from my Grandmother. I know you don’t want to eat it, but you can humour me by trying it. You can’t say you’re a vegetarian cause we went out for Burgers on Tuesday night!’’ Alan shook his head ‘’It’s not that, and it’s nothing personal. I just can’t eat Stew.’’ She crossed her arms violently across her chest ‘’Bullshit.’’

Alan felt funny. Here was the woman he was in love with and she was downplaying and ignoring his feelings. If she would have asked him to further explain, he would tell her what was going on, but she wasn’t giving him the chance.

Mariah went to the stove and took the Stew and placed it on a trivet on the counter. She next went and got two bowls. She pulled a garlic bread out of the oven and put two pieces on a plate and then ladeled the Stew into the bowl that was placed in the center. She followed with a second bowl and again placed the bread on the sides. She carried everything to the table and placed the dishes on the table.

Alan stood there watching Mariah and was amazed that she was ignoring his feelings. What the hell was going on? She sat down and pointed across from her, indicating where he should sit.

‘’The Stew was marinated in wine. I used a variety of vegetables and it is a prime cut of meat. I had my choice of Stew or making Kebabs, I thought you’d like the Stew better. Would you like some more wine?’’

Alan was dumbfounded. He looked at the Stew and knew he wasn’t going to take one bite. He instead took a piece of garlic bread. Mariah gave him stink eye.

‘’This is kind of crazy. I spent hours making this Stew and you refused to even try it. I don’t really care what kind of past trauma you had with food, but you have to get over it. Try my Stew and your phobia will disappear.’’

What Mariah didn’t get was that it wasn’t a phobia, it was a scar. A deep rooted scar that made him want to block the memory. She was making him relive it. It was nuts. She was making his not wanting to eat Stew into some kind of referendum on his free will.

She ate her meal while he nibbled on the garlic bread. There was quiet in the room. Thanksgiving had been incredible, their dates had been amazing and now over Stew they were at crossroads. Their relationship was hanging on a thread because he didn’t want to put a piece of her Stew in his mouth. He thought he might be able to relent, but the thought of tasting the Stew was making him feel sick.

Mariah finished and took her plate and bowl to the sink. He watched her rinse them off and place them in the dishwasher. She then sat back down and looked at him like he was a child. ‘’I refuse to do anything else, till you eat some of my Stew. I’m really pissed off that you won’t try it.’’

Alan stood up and looked at Mariah and in a very quiet voice tried to once more explain that he couldn’t eat it. She stood up and shook her head ‘’If you can’t bend on eating one piece of fucking Stew, I don’t know how we’ll ever be able to resolve other more serious issues. This is your last chance. Either eat the Stew or hit the road and don’t look back or come back. Stop being such a Fuckin’ suck and just eat the meal I prepared for you.’’

There was a finality and seriousness in her voice. Her face was red and the whole situation had devolved into ridiculousness. Alan looked at her and the food on the table. Was he going to flush their future down the toilet because he couldn’t eat her Stew? He looked at the Stew, he looked at her and a voice ran through his head ‘’To thine own self be true.’’ He shook his head ‘’Sorry, Mariah, I can’t eat it.’’ She glared at him. ‘’Then get the hell out of here and lose my number. You’re a spineless jerk.’’

Alan turned and headed for the door. The next thing he felt was something hitting his back, the purple roses were on the floor. ‘’Take your flowers and eat them, I don’t want them. I don’t want any reminders of you.’’ The verbal assault was intense. He slowly turned and picked up the roses. He didn’t say another word as he exited her place.

The drive home was quiet as Alan kept going over the scene at Mariah’s Condo in his head. They had broken up over the fact he couldn’t eat her Stew. He thought about the reasons. The night his Mom died ( a heart attack) she had eaten Stew for dinner. His Dad had passed (also from a heart attack) after he had enjoyed a hearty heaping of Stew. Alan had vowed he would never eat Stew and he had held firm. It was his achilles heel and his weakness. He would forever equate Stew with death. He lost the two people he loved most in life after they ate Stew. He knew it was silly to equate the two things (heart attacks and Stew) but he couldn’t help it, he linked them together. It was what it was.

Weeks passed and there was no communication with Mariah, which made him think their relationship had been teetering before the Stew fiasco. Not eating her Stew was a convenient excuse to end things.

When he started dating again, Alan met a wonderful girl named Tamara Lishon. As they started to get to know one another, Tamara asked him if he’d like her to come to her place for dinner. Alan was reluctant, and explained his Stew issue. She laughed. ‘’Alan don’t worry I have a Screw Stew policy. By the way, don’t ever put Sardines anywhere near me, they’ll make me sick. I will Never eat a Sardine. ’’ They laughed and the relationship grew stronger.

As they dated Alan began to appreciate Tamara more and more and he proposed. She accepted and he was genuinely happy. One night he was driving home from a movie with Tamara beside him and he started thinking about how life worked. He had found the woman of his dreams and it would never ever have happened if he would have taken one bite of Stew. He was also confident that his parents were looking down from heaven and smiling. He had learned from them, stay away from Stew and good things will happen. Stick with Stew and life could go sideways in a hurry. He looked over at Tamara and cleared his throat ‘’Honey, I want to marry you. You just have to remember, No Stew ever.’’ She laughed ‘’No worries, we can build our life together Stew free.’’ Alan let out a breath. He really had found his dream woman, she really got him.

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This post was previously published on medium.com.