Un-Req’d

Dear You-will-probably-not-see-this-anyway-because-who-still-has-their-Yahoo-account-so-I’m-not-gonna-email-you-but-gonna-post-it-here-like-the-big-chicken-I-am ~

I will always be connected to you. I’m not so sure why, but I just know. I’ve asked myself this many times over the years since first meeting you, which I’m not sure was actually our first encounter, but I digress. And, while I’ve had periods where you have not crossed my mind, you never seem too far from me.

Speaking of which, after a long sabbatical, thoughts of you have once again bubbled up — they harass me. It’s f**king annoying, but they can’t be denied. Trust me, I’ve tried. This is why I’m choosing to write this short little un-poetic (unrequited) love note. A little vulnerability never hurt … Scratch that. I’ll most likely get hurt, but what’s the point in playing it safe-ish?

You have been the most consistent person in my life, and yet you’ve hardly been in it. It is scary that I can feel this deep of a love for someone who I have no reason to feel love for. Oh, and please don’t misconstrue this message as some sort of directive (i.e. you must admit your undying love although you’ve probably never felt a flick of emotion towards me, etc.). I understand that you might not reciprocate these feelings and it’s not something I expect from you. I accept that I may never receive an in-kind response or that I may (gulp) even receive an outright rejection… and that’s okay.

This is a purely selfish act, this missive. I am unburdening myself. If I, by committing this ‘greed,’ transfer the burden onto you, I am sorry. I don’t wish to. Well, maybe kinda? I just wish to be honest. I’m motherf**king cleansing myself, so deal.

I hope you experience the love that you deserve in this life and grow in all the ways that allow for true wealth — the inner kind. Your happiness is important to me even if I am never allowed to see that happiness.

Love you, always.

—

This post was previously published on medium.com.

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From The Good Men Project on Medium

What Does Being in Love and Loving Someone Really Mean?

My 9-Year-Old Accidentally Explained Why His Mom Divorced Me

The One Thing Men Want More Than Sex

The Internal Struggle Men Battle in Silence

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