You know the girl who has the perfect boyfriend? That’s your friend.
The woman who has captured the heart of that charming man with the unique appearance and kind heart, who is fully committed to her alone.
His girlfriend.
You’re so glad she found him, but honestly?
You feel envious of the special connection your friend has with her boyfriend, who is always attentive to her needs, and seems to share a deep understanding and intimacy with her, as demonstrated by his loving gestures and tender embraces.
Observing them causes a longing within you, as the man by your side does not give you the same level of care and attention.
It’s not that the man in your life is not great, but rather, the way in which he interacts with you.
He treats you like someone he’s gotten used to.
You know he doesn’t wake up in the morning pinching himself for being lucky enough to snag someone like you.
You can tell that the other guy feels like the luckiest person in the world to have his girlfriend, it’s evident in his gaze.
The joy that shines in his smile whenever he glances at the woman he loves is palpable.
So you ask her — half-joking, half-hoping — if he has any brothers. She just laughs.
“No, you don’t need a brother like him,” she says as she leans towards you and checks to make sure no one is listening. “Do you want to know a secret?”
You nod excitedly.
She whispers, “Our relationship wasn’t any different from others in the beginning, but I came across this fascinating secret from a relationship coach named James Bauer. It’s considered the key to understanding men.
You nod eagerly and she continues talking, but your attention is drawn to her boyfriend who is offering her a drink. She shakes her head and blows him a kiss before turning her focus back to you.
“So, Would you like to learn about this secret?”
“Yeah!” you say. “If it will help me and my guy read each other’s minds, like you two just did.”
“Okay, then listen closely…”
Women across the world make one universal mistake with men.
A widespread mistake that women make with men is to believe that only exceptional women, primarily those with exceptional bodies, can attract and keep the attention of men. This belief is based on conventional wisdom.
According to conventional wisdom, if a woman has a man who follows her closely like a loyal companion, she must possess something that you lack.
Common wisdom states that a man following a woman closely like a loyal pet implies that she has something you lack.
Despite its obviousness, it is not always the case.
It’s dead wrong.
That woman?
She is no more extraordinary or unique than you (whatever that may entail)
But she has an uncommon insight into how men think and feel.
She knows that what is most significant is not what a man perceives when he glances at her…
But how he sees himself reflected in her eyes.
The truth is this:
Men fall for women because of how those women make them feel.
When a woman makes a man feel like a hero, he becomes devoted to her with unwavering loyalty.
He can’t help it.
Most women do not possess the ability to inspire a man’s undying loyalty.
When he is with most women, he feels inadequate and as though he constantly makes mistakes and needs someone to take care of him.
He can only name a few women who hold him in high regard and truly show respect towards him.
And those women will always hold a special place in his life.
So, how do you make a man feel like a hero?
It seems a bit silly.
Do you have to create a situation where he saves children from a burning building or an elderly woman from getting hit by a car?
It’s not complicated, it’s much easier.
To give your man a hero’s feeling, there’s one straightforward action you can initiate immediately.
You can thank him warmly for every single thing he does for you.
Did he offer to get you a drink?
Thank him.
Did he clear the dishes off the table?
Thank him.
Did he drive you to a meeting?
Thank him.
Your man is a hero to you every day, although it may not seem that way.
Has your partner helped you in any way in the past week that you could consider as them being a hero?
Maybe he gave you a helping hand, provided support, or offered useful guidance during a challenging situation.
We often overlook and take for granted the actions of a person who provides support to us, even though it is a remarkable thing to have someone to rely on.
But the more you appreciate him… The more he appreciates YOU.
Now, This is not a common perspective.
Most women believe that they can gain a man’s gratitude by doing many things for him.
They have it in the wrong direction.
The most effective way to make a man appreciate you is by showing gratitude for everything he does for you, no matter how small.
It triggers his “Hero Instinct.”
(You can learn more about the Hero Instinct in James’ video here.)
The Power of Response
The key to gaining his unwavering loyalty is not in the actions you take for him, but rather in appreciating everything he does for you, no matter how small it may seem.
But in how you respond to everything he does for you.
Did he just embrace you with a hug?
Show a slight movement of satisfaction.
Did he compromise and watch the TV show of your choice with you?
Give him an appreciative kiss.
Encouraging the small actions he takes will lead to your man making greater efforts to satisfy you.
He’s your hero.
And that is what makes a man a hero.
But that’s just the beginning.
There are many other ways to activate his hero drive.
There are specific words, messages, and requests you can use to boost his hero instinct to an even greater extent than simply expressing gratitude.
And since no man can resist feeling like a hero in a woman’s eyes, it would be beneficial to know and use some emotional triggers that will make him feel this way even more strongly.
Want to take your relationship skills to the next level with men?
Then learn more about how you can master this powerful technique (from the man who invented it) click below to watch the short video.
Learn To Trigger His Hero Instinct
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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You may also like these posts on The Good Men Project:
White Fragility: Talking to White People About Racism | Escape the “Act Like a Man” Box | The Lack of Gentle Platonic Touch in Men’s Lives is a Killer | What We Talk About When We Talk About Men |
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Photo credit: Kristina Litvjak on Unspalsh