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The living room was bathed in ghostly light from the myriad of electronic displays as I quietly gasped for air. It was 4:00 am and my wife and daughter slept in their beds. I needed a rest before I moved on to the next part of my new routine.
I started a new job a few years ago. I arrived at work around 6:00 am. I woke up at 4:00 am. I worked ten-hour shifts. I was away from home for over 13 hours each weekday. I also had just become a father a year prior.
It was under these conditions that I decided to “shake things up.” I needed something to shake me out of the repetitiveness. I was becoming hypnotized and lulled to sleep by the grind. Dissatisfaction had crept into my mind and it started to build a home.
I had read some personal development books and listened to podcasts, but rarely had I implemented much of the advice. Apparently, it’s a trend to hear and not apply. In fact, I once heard that if information is all we need, everyone would have six-pack abs and be millionaires. True enough.
I carved out time in the only place I could find it—first thing in the morning. I woke up earlier than I had to by almost an hour. I had decided to implement a morning routine. All the cool people seem to have one.
I had to put aside my skepticism—especially for some of the more “woo, woo” stuff like meditation—in the face of so many famous and successful testimonials. What the hell, right? What was there to lose? Tony Robbins, Steve Jobs, Oprah and Lady Gaga all have morning routines and rituals.
So I took the advice of Hal Elrod: I would implement six distinct practices and each would take 10 minutes. The practices were: meditation, affirmations, visualization, exercise, reading and writing. I can tell you that all six did not make the cut past day one. I explored and tinkered until I had found the few practices of value to me that fit into my morning time crunch.
That’s how I found myself doing push-ups and sit-ups at 4:00 am gasping for air and hoping to stay quiet enough as to not wake my family. It was lonely at first. My internal voice would often question my sanity. Wouldn’t it be better to just sleep longer? I was determined to find out.
After over a year now, I still write in a journal, meditate, read, and exercise almost every morning. I never thought meditation would make the cut but anything that starts out that hard must be worth the effort. I love my morning routine. It is my time to reflect, to check in with myself, and to have quiet and perspective before the day takes off on jet fuel. Exercise has been my own personal therapist.
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So what have I learned from my practice, how has it translated through each day, and how has it helped with societal expectations and definitions of success?
When I die, there probably won’t be more than 10 people who cry. It’s true. The same goes for you. I used to care about societal expectations but in the context of a dry-faced funeral, who the hell cares about the expectations of other people—save for the 10 who cry when you’re gone. Easy to say and hard to do.
Massive change comes from small changes each day. Don’t wait to “find yourself.” The most important project one can endeavor upon is to create the person you want to be. The routine I implemented has allowed me to chart that course and adjust each day. I start the day by working on me first. After that, who cares if the day carries me away in a torrent of stuff to do? No matter the overwhelm or stress, I can reach back to that morning or think about the next morning to draw on a source of calm and perspective.
No so long ago, I defined success like so many others. I thought I wanted the big house, fancy car, and all the trappings of wealth, career, and status. However, thanks to my practice of looking inward and asking the hard questions, I like to think I’ve redefined success to match what is truly important to me. Perhaps that definition is a subject for another post.
Of course, I can’t complete the story without giving a lot of credit to all the authors I have read over the years. Many have felt like distant mentors. In each book, lesson, or podcast I have found golden nuggets of wisdom, advice, and practices to help guide my way. There is nothing new under the sun. People have written just about everything a person could ever want to know. The real trick is implementing.
Who knows where the next year will take me. There will be ups and downs. We are all human. I will look for the hidden opportunity or lesson learned because the other choice is stress and overwhelm. As long as I make the time to work on me, to find out how I’m doing and to pause and reflect, things will trend “up and to the right.”
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Photo credit: Pixabay