I have two boys. I noticed recently that every other word out of their mouths had something to do with Fortnite. Their attitudes were horrible after they played video games, and they were getting worse as time went on. It seemed like the only reason they woke up early was to finish their chores as fast as possible just so they could hurry up and play. At first I thought, “awesome, they are becoming responsible young adults”. Wrong! Not at 10 and 13 years old. That might be expecting too much.
We couldn’t hold down real conversations either. Even at the dinner table it was all about Fortnite, Minecraft and Roblox. “Dad, what if in Fortnite there was…[FILL IN THE BLANK]” I absolutely love playing too but this was enough to drive a person insane!
My wife started to noticed it was taking over “OUR” lives. Really, she should be writing this article. I didn’t even want to take a break.
I was perfectly capable of playing Fortnite and then still function as a normal human being afterwards. This all really started from my wife wanting to take a break from Facebook. She always gets these grand ideas like “Hey let’s declutter”. It’s really fun. 😐
I have to admit that this was tough for me. Playing video games is something that my kids and I do almost every day together. It’s sort of like the “guy time” with just me and my two boys. We aren’t into sports or anything, so this was our thing.
I understand that everyone has something that they should take a break from. That could range from social media to video games, or even dining out. But why, though??
Now, I don’t think video games are evil or anything. I do, however, agree that too much of anything is not good for you. But how was I supposed to have my kids take a break from something that I didn’t even want to take a break from?
Asking your kids to take some time away may seem like a pretty daunting task. It can especially feel overwhelming if you don’t play games yourself. You might get some attitude. Let me take that back. You WILL get attitude. If your kids are anything like all of the other kiddos in this world, gaming seems to be their life.
Although it seems like an impossible task, there are some things that you can do to make this process a little less painful. Below are some things that we thought of during our 30 day break (mostly at the end of the 30 days). Here are some things I wish I would have thought about or done differently.
You Must Plan Ahead
Give yourself a start date. If there is a significant day that you would like to pick, say the 15th of the month, then pick that day. We decided to start at the beginning of the next month (June 2020). It was only a few weeks away and there are 30 days in June. No matter what, establish a start date and stick to it. Do the same thing for the finish date. Make sure you are fully aware of the timeline. Don’t change it. Don’t compromise. Make sure it’s at least a week out. Give yourself some time. Don’t rush it, but don’t procrastinate.
Get It On Paper
It’s important that you establish a timeline. You’ve established your start and finish dates. Now, you actually need to physically write it down so that your 30 day fast is visible and in front of you daily. We have a calendar on our refrigerator, so that was what worked best for us. Make sure that it’s something that you are going to stick to. This is a must. If you write it down, it becomes a live document.
Our family has a much easier time remembering things when they are written down. We’ve also made it a habit to have our family calendar out in the open. It’s so much easier to talk about events that might come up when your entire schedule is in a common area. Speaking of having talks, let’s move on to the next step.
Notify Everyone Involved
This is the time to sit your kids down and let them know about your plans. We noticed that it helped calm the storm when the kids knew that their parents were also making a sacrifice. At least it felt like that. Maybe they just took the “L” well. It seems hard to break the news but it’s actually pretty simple. You can say something like this; “Hey guys, First of all we love you…But we are really tired of the attitudes lately and we would love to see you guys make a change.” At this point you’ll get the typical response “we love you too”, and “we will change our attitudes, promise!”
Sure sure. We have all heard that before. Don’t give up at this point. This is probably where most parents think they are being too harsh. Stay the course. Here’s what you say next. “That’s great! So that we can all focus on family time and changing attitudes, we are taking a break from video games for 30 days.”
Wait for the arguing and fighting to die down. Let them vent and be upset. You just turned their world upside down. Life as they know it is ending. There is no reason to get out of bed in the morning. Shame! I’m sure you’ll hear it all. Don’t let them disrespect you though. When they do, point out (in a calm voice) that this is exactly why you decided to take a break. If they are receptive to it, point that out too. Let them know that you appreciate them being so understanding. Let them know that you look forward to spending more quality time with them. Be real about it. Let them know that they can still play during the days or weeks prior. Tell them the start and finish dates. Make sure that they can see the dates any time they want. This will save you a lot of time later.
We didn’t have the finish date displayed so prominently so of course, they were always asking, “when is the break over again?”.
You are setting the example for your kids during difficult times. Remember, you are showing them how to respond to adversity. You are teaching them not only self-control, but how to properly communicate with people when they are angry.
It doesn’t stop there. Make sure grandma and grandpa know too.
Anyone that watches your kids needs to know about this adjustment. Let them know that there are no exceptions and that it is very important to you that they hold to your expectations.
This includes babysitters, Auntie, Uncle Bobo, etc.
If you are still reading this, then you know that it’s time for a break. By the time you finish this break from video games, you’ll probably want to take breaks from other things that may seem to consume you. You could theoretically apply this same method and have an easier time simplifying your life. It feels nice to simplify. So take a load off.
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Previously published on medium
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Photo credit: by Florian Gagnepain on Unsplash