 Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.
Oscar Wilde
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 Over the years, I have often been asked: “When did you become a writer?” My usual answer is: “When I finally started calling myself one.”
My reluctance to “own up” to my truth was mainly because I wasn’t making money in this endeavor. I worried people might ridicule or look down on me for devoting so much time toward something that might never pay a bill. But when I finally overcame this block, finally decided to embrace my reality, and started telling people that I was, indeed, a writer, everything changed for me. I had finally recognized, and honored, my identity – or how I most wanted to be identified. With this serving as an emotional and intellectual anchor, and boosted by the courage to be vulnerable and unafraid to voice my choice, I’ve never stopped writing…or given a second thought to ever stopping writing. And thanks to many wonderful editors, including the individual who has given me the opportunity to reach out to readers through this column, I have had the fortune of publishing a well-received novel, three collection of short stories, and more in the pipeline.
While my “literary coming out” moment might pale in comparison to the pain, struggle and challenge of others who decide to open up and be honest in public about a part of themselves they had formerly kept secret, I Â do believe there is a resulting commonality of empowerment and forward movement after such an experience.
Jason Kurtz, a top psychoanalyst in New York City, an award-winning playwright, and the author of the inspirational memoir, Follow The Joy — reacting more specifically to people who might be holding back against their true desires when it pertains to the arts, a profession, or any pursuit that brings them happiness and fulfillment – states there is “something transformative that happens when we are willing to openly express our dreams and then actively work to accomplish them.”  He further elaborates:
When we try to toil in secret, we often founder and our dreams die unborn. I think this is because it’s only when we put something out into the world that we can really assess what it is, what works, and what does not. We can then begin the difficult work of refining our craft, learning from mistakes and finding our voice. Additionally, other people take us seriously, and will sometimes be inspired to offer assistance that they never would have thought to offer if they did not believe we were earnestly pursuing these dreams. In short, our dreams can only become reality if we put them into reality. We just have to find the courage to try.
Henry David Thoreau (1817 – 1862), an American naturalist, essayist, poet and philosopher, best known for his book Walden, has a similar take as Jason regarding the power that can be generated from within when a person “advances confidently in the direction of their dreams, and endeavors to life the life which they have imagined.” Thoreau adds: “If you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost; that is where they should be. Now put the foundations under them.”
Ultimately, everyone, I believe, will come to a point in time in their lives, or perhaps many times in their life, when they are faced with the difficult decision to share with others something about themselves that had been private, to weigh the risk of being nonconforming, so they can move forward toward a more authentic self.  I applaud all those who make these brave moves, but I also understand those who recognize that it is best for them to keep these parts of themselves to themselves. We are all unique, and the best path to take is the one that is right one for you.
And you can trust that what I’m saying is sincere. Because, after all, I’m a writer.
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