Vulnerable …. When was the last time you let yourself be that around other people?
For the longest time, I thought, not showing any sign of weakness or vulnerability was the only way to portray confidence. Especially when meeting new people, I always tried my best to be a version of me with no negatives, no weaknesses, and a know it all vibe.
Now that I think of it, I realize those are the kind of people whom I dislike immediately. And they reek of overconfidence which feels like too much effort being put in to conceal some serious confidence issues.
As you all already know, I write about relationships, real-life sexual experiences, and slices of life.
This wouldn’t have been something I would have done some years ago. Pseudonym or not, opening myself up like that and expressing so freely to an open audience would have given me the night sweats.
But as time and life have passed, I have learned that there is a limit to how long one can pretend. It’s simply not possible for the long term.
Now, this gets me thinking about all these marriages and relationships we see crumbling around us, mine included. People in these relationships most probably portrayed their edited versions to their partners when they started off. We all do it when we first date, we want to be the perfect, flawless, viceless partner, or at least appear to be so. Once you come into a relationship with that image in your head and find out over time that they had so many other layers too, which they never expressed or showed before, it does create rifts which sometimes develop into deep chasms, irreparable mostly.
When I meet a new person nowadays, be it a lover, a sex buddy, or just a new friend, I make it a point to be open and emotionally naked before I get physically naked. Coz I know I won’t be able to keep the charade up for long, it’s pointless. I get all sentimental after sex and I want affection and cuddling – no use faking that I am all only about the sex and it can be a wham bam thank you, ma’am! Won’t work for me. I need touching and affection apart from sex too…
I overthink and get anxious, why would I hide it from my friends/lovers. They will inevitably find out. If I pretend to be super chill and laid back it will definitely backfire on me and the friendship on a whole.
Being genuine is your best bet at having real friendships, and deeper connections. Vulnerability accompanied by whatever confidence you have is the most attractive quality.
When your faults are open for everyone to see, you appear real and they see you for who you are, not some mirage you are trying to project.
Posing for that perfect selfie is just that, posing. It doesn’t necessarily mean confidence. Vulnerable, real confidence is all about courage, and the ability to accept failure if necessary. To keep on trying, despite your mistakes. To show up, as a package with all your flaws but also true intent is amazing.
Being Vulnerable and Confident go hand in hand. Its the quiet power of knowing who you exactly are, owning your mistakes, and harnessing your strengths. Opening yourself up to others with your weaknesses and mistakes helps them to feel their importance in your life. After all, isn’t that what we all need. . . to feel wanted and important.
Vulnerability makes you more human and deepens trust and connection with your people. Vulnerable confidence may also sometimes bring out hidden qualities in people that would never have come to light otherwise.
So open up, show your true feelings and self to the world. We don’t need a game face, we don’t need to pretend to be strong and tough. Vulnerability is a strength, and it’s the foundation of self-confidence.
Being able to be completely honest and completely yourself with someone is fantastic. It is liberating.
Do you know where it is we need to be the most authentic, and vulnerably confident — it’s in the most basic and real emotion of all. — LOVE. Love is where we need to be most genuine, yet sadly most of this world fails to do so…yes it can result in pain, but what’s life if not lived and loved fully.
This is definitely something to dwell upon, and as you ponder on it I will leave you with some beautiful quotes —
This post was previously published on Change Becomes You.
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