Was I the Only One Who Thought Like This?

Sometimes, when I think about my childhood, it feels strange. Back then, I used to believe my life was a TV show. I felt like I was walking inside a screen and everyone was watching my story.

My thoughts were always different. I wondered why humans didn’t have four legs. In my drawings, I always made people with four legs because it made more sense to me.

I used to think, if I know what I ate today and what I did today, then why can’t I know what my friend Priya is doing? What did she eat? Where is she right now?

When my classmates shared their stories about their day, I couldn’t believe them. A part of me thought, after meeting me, maybe they just disappear. Maybe they don’t exist until they come back into my life again. Because I couldn’t see what they were doing when I wasn’t there.

I was confused. And maybe, somewhere inside, I still am.

Sometimes I felt like I had hidden superpowers. I believed that one day, I would discover how to use them.

It sounds funny now, but when I think about those thoughts, a strange restlessness still comes back. Maybe I wasn’t weird. Maybe I was just trying to understand life in my own way.

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This post was previously published on medium.com.