I’ve been washing my hands a lot lately, almost as often as when I worked as a chef and back then washed them so often they were chapped and raw. One thing I never did was time my hand washing, now I’m careful to count to twenty which is about fifteen seconds longer than I ever used to wash. All this scrubbing and counting has given me a lot of time to think and I find myself reflecting on my life….
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- I tried vegetarianism once, I lasted for about a year but by the end of that time I would have sold my mother to the Greek Navy for a hot dog.
- My aforementioned mother thought vegetarians were mentally unbalanced and this was without ever knowing a vegan
- Why, whenever I have a conversation with my cat do I feel like I’m the dumb animal?
- I haven’t had a hangover since 1988, am I missing out?
- My generation, the Baby Boomers changed the world, how did we do this when we were weaned on TV shows with talking horses, talking cars and castaways on an island who could build a radio from coconut shells but couldn’t fix a hole in a boat.
- Why did I have that second piece of pie?
- I lived without a smart phone for more than fifty years, why do I freak out if I leave the house without it?
- Does Mike Pence yearn to be free?
- If I was born in a different time and a different place would I like yogurt?
- I’ve raised five wonderful children, why do I kill orchids just by bringing them into my home?
- Will Sylvester Stallone continue to make Rocky sequels after he dies?
- Who shot JR?
- Does Keith Richards moisturize?
- Fries or coleslaw?
- Why do fools fall in love?
- Why don’t the people on internet dating sites ever look like the people on the internet dating site ads?
- Who the fuck is Deepak Chopra and why is he trying to give me advice?
- Why would anyone buy a car that’s not a Toyota?
- Donald Trump, seriously?
- Who the fuck is Deepak Chopra and why is he trying to give me advice?
Rinse and dry.
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Photo: iStock
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