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“I’ve said it to him many times, ‘You’re the biggest waste of talent I’ve ever seen.’”
So says Pete Vescey, a sportswriter, when talking about Jack “Blackjack” Ryan, in Netflix’s 8 episode docuseries “Losers” which highlights individuals who were on the cusp of achieving a great sports feat only to wash out and fail.
In Blackjack’s case, he was an extremely talented street basketball player in the 1980s and ‘90s who was not only well known for his intense level of play and ability to make shots from all over the court but for his temper and ability to squander opportunities that were offered to him.
Unfortunately, in Blackjack’s case, his father was verbally abusive and didn’t acknowledge his son’s talents on the court which lead in part to Blackjack’s low self-esteem. According to his sister, their father couldn’t care less about his basketball skills, he just wanted him to get a job.
The episode details that after spending years playing street ball and missing an opportunity to highlight his talent in the NBA, Blackjack hit a low and struggled with wanting to continue living. It’s while he’s in the doldrums, playing for the 14th Street Y his “crazy coach” noticed his ability to spin a ball on his finger and offered him to try out with the Harlem Wizards which is a basketball team that focuses on “fancy trickery through dribbling, passing, shooting, and dunking”.
Not wanting to miss out on another opportunity, he decides to use his basketball talent for the greater good and finds his life’s purpose by using his unique basketball skills to make children laugh and amaze audiences.
Sadly, throughout the episode, the viewer gets the sense that if Blackjack’s father would have taken some interest or encouraged his son in some way, he could have been an NBA player or at least had a real shot at playing in the NBA. Instead, he spent the better half of his life trying to get his father’s approval, which appears, he never did.
There are many terrible things you can hear about yourself but being told that you’re wasting your God-given talent is probably up there with being labeled a “loser”.
Yet, how many of us waste our talents day-in and day-out? How about our children?
As a parent, you know your child’s strengths and weaknesses. You know what they’re good at and what they struggle with. It’s up to us to point out the areas which our child can excel in and use those hidden gems that are unique to their person.
Watching and learning about my children enables me to see where their talents lie. They aren’t good at everything, but they’re good at something and I try to encourage them to spend time developing those skills.
Children need our approval, no matter what age they are. They’re looking for approval to boost their self-esteem. They want to be acknowledged and recognized. This is the gateway to them using their strengths.
It doesn’t mean that you’re not honest when they ask for your opinion about their abilities.
For example, my oldest made a Bundt cake all by herself the other day for a family gathering. I don’t like Bundt cake in general, but I tried it and it was the best Bundt cake I’ve ever tasted, and I told her so.
The following day was Father’s Day and she woke up early to make me potatoes for breakfast. The amount of salt she used caused my lips to pucker up like a kissing fish.
“How do the potatoes taste dad?” she asked with her sparkling little eyes staring at me.
In my mind, I said “Crap, do I tell the truth and break her tender little heart or lie like the devil hoping she can’t tell?”
My wife must have seen the look of indecision (aka fear) on my face and interjected on my behalf, “They’re good, but I think you put a little too much salt on them.”
I just slightly nodded my head and spooned another mouthful, not saying a word.
O.K., so I dodged the bullet on that one, and let my wife take one for the “parental unit” team by shouldering the disappointed look my daughter gave, but hey, it was Father’s Day after all.
But there’s been other times when I’ve been upfront and honest with my kids about their strengths and weaknesses. Encouraging and telling them to focus on their talents.
To not use one’s natural talents is probably one of the greatest travesties a human being can experience in life and that’s one experience I don’t want my children to have.
By the end of the episode, we find that Blackjack has a daughter who is the center of his universe and he begins teaching her the various tricks he’s mastered and “the biggest waste of talent” is redeemed and thankfully, not wasted after all.
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This post is republished on Medium.
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