This analogy is designed to make you feel safer in your body the more you use it. Imagine for a second that your body, (you) is a jelly. Jellies are made in moulds. A mixture of ingredients is poured in, left for some time and then the mould is removed leaving the jelly to fend for itself. A bit like pregnancy and when we are born. Once out, wiggle the plate (which represents something unnerving happening in our lives in this analogy) and the jelly, us, wobbles. But, what if we changed our perspective slightly?
Jellies only wobble when there’s space between them and the mould. If there’s no gap between the mould and the jelly, wiggle the plate/life and the jelly doesn’t wobble. One could say it feels safe and we can in life more if we move our attention.
Our nervous systems are formed in a safe, warm environment where there’s no gap between us and the mould (our mothers). So safety for our young jelly — us as a baby during pregnancy — is being held and supported all over. Therefore, our nervous systems are programmed to not feel safe in any feeling of separation. So, in basically all of life after we are born, there’s a very slight, mostly subconscious, feeling of being separate and not supported that’s always there deep down. In wobbly-plate-wiggling times, it gets massively heightened. To ease that feeling, it helps to notice that the space around us isn’t actually space.
Without too much of a stretch of the imagination, we can notice the space around us is holding us like a mould does jelly. Life’s mould is mostly made of air, sometimes a seat or bed and often clothes but when we can notice the edge of all those things, place our attention there and feel the edge (or mould) of life, it kind of feels like a very gentle hug that’s always there, whenever we need it to support us and hold us up in time and space. Fancy trying it? Read on…
Firstly, which flavour of jelly would best represent you? Notice your thoughts as you answer.
Okay, now you’re aware of your attention find an object close to you. Rather than place your attention on how your body/head feels, or the object, place it on the gap between you and the object and move your attention to the edge of the space where it pushes against you, essentially holding you up. Now move your awareness to the edge of space that is all around you, holding you like a mould. As you do this, notice if there’s a shift in your awareness of self and in turn a sense of safety.
As a practice, similar to the Frame technique, bring your attention to the feeling of the edge of space all around you, touching and holding you, on your in-breath. Then move your attention to your connectedness to everything around you on your out-breath. It might take a while initially but it gets easier with practise.
Let me know how you get on and, as always, thanks for reading.
With gratitude,
Adam
ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Adam Slawson is a Transformational Coach, CEO, Author, Facilitator and Speaker. He: has guided Lululemon’s team in Transformational Inner Leadership, hosts the “Vulnerability In The City” radio show, facilitates workshops at multiple festivals inc. Boomtown and is regularly published in “Change Becomes You” writing about dating, relationships and emotional well-being. He believes “Our vulnerability is the catalyst to our freedom” and founded Plight Club clothing (www.plightclub.co.uk) to encourage this conversation. With over 22 years of experience, he coaches those who’d like to master their vulnerability to overcome anxiety, transform their relationships and gain magnetic confidence to attract the life that was meant for them instead of accepting the one they’ve been given.
His mission is to redefine vulnerability till it’s seen as the courageous act it is. His talks and offerings help people learn the language of emotions.
For more tools on tips to become better at expressing your emotions download his free e-guide here and/or visit his website here.
BOOK A FREE DISCOVERY CALL HERE
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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From The Good Men Project on Medium
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