We Can’t Live Without That Voice Inside Our Head, so Why Not Use It?

Each day, that mystical, magical coffee brew transports me back to Italy, where I had my very first cappuccino. This was way before Starbucks existed. I was just 16 and touring with a musical show. We were up late every night after performances, and a cup of coffee was the best way to welcome the morning. But a cappuccino was not just a cup of coffee but an event. From that first morning in Milan, I became a cappuccino lover.

Actually, I became a ritual lover.

Beginning decades ago, each afternoon, I’ve looked forward to my cappuccino hour. This sacred hour is my time for self-reflection and journaling, then writing an article.

In Italy, they consider it a big no-no to have a cappuccino past the morning, but I enjoy it smack dab in the middle of my day. It’s the transition hour. I shed my focus from business dealings of the day to an hour of ritual peacefulness.

I soon discovered something life-changing… at least it was for me.

I found that if I attach something more to the ritual of the sacred brew, it could lead the way to a more productive writing session. It was the secret ingredient that could open the creative floodgates. That simple ritual became a decades-long habit that has made it easier to start the creative process. Author, Elizabeth Gilbert calls it “Big Magic” in her book with the same name.

But there’s one more thing… Coffee sets the stage, but then journaling becomes the portal that activates the writing flow. Even just a few paragraphs have flipped the switch, so I can then delve into writing articles or working on my books.

I can tell you from experience, journaling has a supernatural quality. It taps into that voice inside your head that never stops, and helps make sense of it. Often times, I’ve had self imposed arguments with myself. You know the kind: “I’m not good enough, I can’t live through this, I’ll never be happy again.”

When you begin to journal, your mind sifts through the cacophony, and filters into a dialogue between you and your thoughts (no… oddly enough, they are not the same!). Think about things you think and things you say. Do you say every single thing that comes to mind? Your mind does have a filter.

I learned the hard way that journaling can soothe your soul and guide you even during the toughest times.

I tragically lost my 16 year old son years ago to bacterial meningitis. It was journaling that carefully held my heart and walked me through the most difficult time of my life.

Writing held the key to my survival, and helped me find the path to restore my broken heart. It was a task that let me cry, be angry, acknowledge my fears, and miraculously awakened my creativity. That’s right. Even in your darkest hours your mind is alive with thoughts that cry out to be expressed.

Because I recorded the whole story of my resurrecting my spirit after such a loss, I used my journal for research to write my book, How to Survive the Worst that can Happen, a parent’s guide to coping through the loss of a child.

If you’re a writer, an artist, or creative in any way, you will benefit from journaling as the portal to your creativity. So many great minds have used it… including Picasso, C.S. Lewis, Jennifer Aniston, Oprah, Lady Gaga, and Maya Angelou.

My late husband, David Peckinpah, was a screenwriter for television and film. He wrote every single day… and I mean that. His ability to be such a prolific writer was off the charts, but even he began his writing sessions with a ritual. He would write letters to people… handwritten… before touching his computer. He believed the brain-to-hand connection was valuable for triggering creativity. David’s handwritten letters are scattered all over the world, and sometimes, they’d just come home to me as a precious love letter. I still have them, gathered together in a ribbon in mybox of treasures.

Even if scriptwriting did not go well, David would stay at his desk until the end of the day. He’d always say, “Better to have something on the page… at least there’s something to rewrite tomorrow.”

Decades ago, I remember Oprah saying she had a morning ritual of making tea. She said it was meditative. And it is. But it’s double the pleasure because I attach the practice of writing to the joy of savoring a fragrant mug of expresso with foamy milk. I’d never miss my coffee, so the writing part becomes as easy as adding an almond biscotti… and yes, I do!

By the way, the mug in the photo says “moi,” which means “me” in French…. perfect for “me time!” Isn’t that what we all deserve? A time in our day when we can find peace and joy in doing what we love.

I’ve been doing this special ritual for years. Even today, I wrote this post with my cappuccino at my desk. Sometimes, I light a candle, sometimes music to add to the pleasure, but it all begins with the ritual of the cappuccino.

NOW HERE’S THE TAKEAWAY: If you want to create a good habit or task, try wrapping a ritual around it. You’ll find it makes it ever so much more pleasurable and sets a trigger for the magic to begin.

I know for sure that an intentional ritual keeps you on track with fulfilling your commitments… and it brings you joy!

Do you have a special ritual? Tell me!

You can learn more about the magic of journal writing here: 10,000 Ideas in Your Pocket.

—

This post was previously published on Sandy Peckinpah’s blog.

***

Join The Good Men Project as a Premium Member today.

All Premium Members get to view The Good Men Project with NO ADS.

A $50 annual membership gives you an all access pass. You can be a part of every call, group, class and community.
A $25 annual membership gives you access to one class, one Social Interest group and our online communities.
A $12 annual membership gives you access to our Friday calls with the publisher, our online community.