It’s that time again. Each November 11th we set aside a day to remember and honor our veterans. Even though we allot one day each year to recognize these selfless men and women let’s be honest.
Most of us are sleeping in, at the mall, or catching up on home projects. There’s nothing wrong with that. The entire country is trying to do a hard reset. We are staggered, attempting to regain some semblance of normalcy after almost two years of life-altering changes that have affected us all adversely.
Think for a minute about how shocking, depressing, and even traumatic this time has been for us. It’s not a stretch to say in certain ways there has been an element of terror at times. Then, if you can, multiply your feelings tenfold, or more.
That may give you a slight semblance of what life is like for so many of our veterans. But only a small sense of the haunting events they witnessed that can never be unseen. Even worse are those who were physically maimed. The horror is unimaginable. One minute you are living a normal life, the next your legs are gone and you’re still conscious.
Maybe you won the lottery one day. The lottery of life because the vehicle traveling just in front of you hit the pressure plate that sent it along with those who occupied it exploding into thousands of pieces that reigned down upon you. Your 19-year-old self tries to comprehend exactly what occurred as you attempt to navigate through the fog of the TBI you suffered yourself as a result of the blast.
Momentarily, you are distracted, realizing you are injured from the blast, observing the shrapnel that has torn through your clothes and embedded itself into various unprotected areas of your body. Though it takes only seconds, it seems like years before you frantically run to help your friends but they are gone. You look everywhere within the vicinity for any sign of them. Finally, you find a tooth. One tooth.
These are things we are never intended to witness. When our eyes view events and their aftermath that are so heinous, although we stare at them, at the same time we are wondering if this is happening, we don’t forget them.
How do I know these things? They have been shared with me over and over during the previous 17 years I have spent as a Marine volunteer and fundraiser.
Who knew a measly box of candy bars, sent to an anonymous Marine serving in Iraq so many years ago, could have led me down a path I had never considered traveling? It was the three-page thank you letter he wrote that pointed me in that direction.
The Marine’s name was James Dixon and I came to love him as though he was my son. By sheer coincidence, the Marine base where he was stationed wasn’t too far from my home. When James returned from his first deployment to Iraq he came to visit me and my family. He continued visiting, and I kept the packages coming through two more deployments.
I met his friends and their friends, even his parents. He took me to what was at the time known as Wounded Warrior Barracks at Camp Lejeune to visit an injured friend. The first of what would become years of visits from me to the injured guys. At least those guys suffered obvious visible injuries. Of course, they suffered psychological wounds also. Jose Narosky said, “ In war, there are no unwounded soldiers.” Truer words were never spoken.
Saying that guys who have suffered physical injuries might be more fortunate sounds ludicrous. Everyone can see their scars. Not so when the injuries are invisible. It’s easier to understand how we could consider those who have sustained serious physical wounds to have psychological problems as a result of their wounds than those who haven’t.
At times I believe it’s harder to pretend to be fine if you have no physical injuries to display. I’ve known numerous guys who sustained life-altering injuries. Injuries that took my breath away when I observed them. Injuries I couldn’t believe were survivable had I not seen them, or rather the neverending ramifications that accompany them. How could anyone not be sympathetic to the plight of these young men?
Who doesn’t feel for a happy, vibrant young man, cut down in his prime, never to walk again? Or see, or hear? Unable to completely erase the scars that can appear as monstrous when you have been a human torch and survived to describe what happened. I have heard every incomprehensible detail of his ordeal, and he stands tall and proud. Accepting his circumstances and never complaining, at least that I’m aware of. These boys take my breath away.
I remember when the first quadruple amputee from the war on terror was outed. Doctors had known it would happen at some point during the Iraq and Afghanistan wars. Due to medical advances, it was inevitable. There are now several others. Of course, they will be taken care of, as well they should be, and we desperately want these seriously injured veterans to receive every possible advantage, or opportunity available to them.
But it’s not as easy to feel sorry for those whose wounds are not visible to us. Especially when they try their best to remain stoic and soldier on. Ironically, this places them at an even greater risk of suicide. Shouldn’t they be grateful they didn’t return in a body bag? It’s not that simple.
My children were grown when I first met James. Though still working daily, I had time to help James, his friends, and the injured guys at the Barracks. This is how I learned the information I have to share. James is no longer with us. He was shot and killed in his yard by a Georgia SWAT team more than 9 years ago while suffering a PTSD flashback. Why? This didn’t have to happen. James lived in a very rural area, there was no one in the vicinity he could have hurt, and he never fired the gun he had with him. He didn’t even threaten anyone.
Whose fault was this? There is plenty of blame to go around. Where was the VA? James had been struggling for years, this was no secret to me, his family, or the VA. Although you cannot force a veteran to accept help if it isn’t wanted.
The SWAT team was very poorly trained. Why did they shoot him? There were so many other ways this episode he was experiencing could have been better managed.
We all need to stop and think about what the members of our military sacrifice and endure, along with their families. What would I know about that? Let’s see. My brother was career Navy. He’s been through three divorces and is half-crazy from the trauma he suffered serving in several wars. I missed him, he was never home, ever.
There were four brothers in my father’s family. They were all drafted and served in WWII. All except one were severely afflicted with alcoholism. The only one spared was the youngest who miraculously is still with us. My Uncle Joe, a veteran of DDay. He is a treasure. The veteran isn’t the only one serving. His/her family is right there serving every day along with them, as I and millions of others have been most of my life.
What would become of us without them? We go about our daily lives worrying about COVID, but not concerned someone might drive up and bomb us. To whom do we owe our thanks for keeping us safe here at home? The members of our military keep us safe. When they aren’t off fighting wars they are here at home helping us to enjoy the freedoms they work so hard to ensure we will retain.
I have tried to honor James Dixon’s memory by continuing to help the Marines I know, and many I don’t. I respect all branches of the military and have helped those who served in the Army, Navy, and Air Force. But my heart lies with the Marines. I started with them because of the first letter I ever received from James. I know, and try my best to understand them, though that’s never entirely possible.
Being aware I’ve been able to improve, however slightly, various life circumstances for deserving Marines has been the most satisfying work I’ve ever done. People often ask me why I knock myself out to help these guys. I always respond, “ Because they help me more.” I own no weapons, I’m afraid of them, and everything else for that matter. Where would I be without them?
Our military forces have shrunk so significantly with the advent of technology, most citizens in our country know nothing about them. Have you ever thought about what you enjoy due to the service of our veterans? Yes, I did say enjoy, because in most areas of the world life as we know it to be in America is unimaginable. Where would you be without them? I urge everyone reading this to pause for a moment and consider your daily life.
If the actions of Osama bin Laden weren’t proof an ocean does not spare us from potential harm, I don’t know what more evidence you might need. Who prevents this from occurring again? There are no guarantees, but military intelligence is largely responsible. However, they couldn’t do their work without our troops on the ground, the air and sea, and so many other areas of MOS, ( Military Occupational Speciality ) all working in unison to prevent a reoccurrence. These people work 24/7 to ensure the rest of us can go about our lives in relative peace and safety.
There are numerous charities I have become familiar with that do incredible work to help these heroic men and women. I have personally been able to contribute thousands of dollars to them through fundraisers I have done. That’s a great feeling. Probably more so for me because I can see the faces of hundreds of young men I have personally known who could be recipients of various measures of relief these agencies have to offer.
Sometimes you can see firsthand the difference a service-related charity can make in the life of a veteran. One of my favorite differences to see and follow are the specially trained military service dogs. These dogs not only assist physically injured veterans they also offer emotional support to those suffering from the effects of PTSD. I have had a chance to observe several dogs and the assistance they have been able to provide for their service member and it’s overwhelming. Many of these guys might not be here were it not for the love and comfort they receive from their dogs.
The Marines call for A Few Good Men. Please consider supporting them as you reflect on what our nation owes them, and all other veterans.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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Photo credit: iStockPhoto.com
