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Have you ever noticed those odd habits some people abused by narcissists have?
Let’s peek into the lives of narcissistic abuse victims. Abuse leaves marks not just on the surface but also in their daily routines.
At first, these habits might seem strange, but they have underlying stories behind them. Here are 10 weird habits you might see in these people.
1. They second guess what others say
Narcissistic abuse victims second-guess what other people say. When someone’s gone through narcissistic abuse, they tend to doubt what others say.
For instance, if they’re in a relationship, and their partner says something sweet, instead of taking it at face value, they might wonder, ‘Are they serious or trying to trick me’ This habit forms because they’ve been manipulated or criticized a lot before.
Psychologists say it’s like a defense mechanism kicking in to protect them from getting hurt again. Victims of narcissistic abuse get super sensitive to possible manipulation of what people say.
So even simple stuff gets questioned. It makes it hard for them to believe others without doubting their motives.
2. They display their poker faces at social gatherings
When people go through narcissistic abuse they often put on these poker faces in social settings. It’s like wearing a mask to hide what they’re feeling inside. It happens because they’ve been through emotional manipulation and criticism from the narcissist so they might need to hide their emotions around others.
They do not want to show vulnerability or hint at what’s happening inside. Psychologists suggest that this behavior is a survival mechanism to protect oneself from further emotional harm.
They mentioned how victims of narcissistic abuse learn to guard their emotions as a defense mechanism to avoid being hurt again.
3. They over-clean their surroundings
People who’ve been through narcissistic abuse might develop this habit of over-cleaning as a coping mechanism. When someone deals with a narcissist’s constant criticism and need for control, they might feel a lack of control in their lives.
So cleaning becomes a way to manage that chaos. Imagine someone who’s been in a relationship with a narcissist, they might have faced daily criticism or felt like walking on eggshells. So to regain a sense of order they clean excessively.
It’s like finding peace in a chaotic world even if it means leaving the kitchen for hours or organizing things meticulously.
This behavior might not just be about cleanliness but about regaining a sense of control that was lost during the abusive relationship.
4. They always double-check locked doors at home
When someone goes through narcissistic abuse they might develop this habit of double checking locked doors at home. It’s like a security blanket for them.
It’s not just about ensuring the door is closed. It’s about feeling safe and in control.
Psychologists say that this behavior often stems from the trauma of feeling invaded or unsafe during the abuse. This habit might give them a sense of reassurance or a feeling of regaining control after feeling powerless.
It’s like a mental strategy to ease their anxiety or fear, almost like a little ritual they perform to calm their mind. Experts often work with these individuals to help them find healthier ways to feel secure without relying solely on checking locks.
5. They prefer to eat or travel alone
When someone has been through narcissistic abuse they find comfort in doing things solo like eating or traveling. It’s like their way of taking back control and finding peace in their own company.
Psychologists say that after being in a relationship with a controlling narcissist, victims might crave that alone time as a way to reclaim their independence.
Suppose you’re in a relationship with someone. Your partner constantly criticizes your choices, even simple things like where to eat or how to plan a trip. Now that you’re out of that toxic situation. You feel more at ease going to restaurants or exploring new places alone.
Experts think this behavior helps victims rediscover their preferences and regain a sense of autonomy, it’s like hitting a reset button on their freedom.
6. They stutter when sharing their life stories
When narcissistic abuse victims share their stories it’s like hitting a mental roadblock. Imagine trying to tell a story but the words don’t flow right. And you stutter or stumble through the sentences.
Experts reckon this stuttering might be the brain’s way of handling the tough stuff.
It’s like a defense mechanism. Trying to slow things down, sort through the emotions, and protect us from feeling overwhelmed.
Psychologists think the mind attempts to cope with all the hurt and confusion tangled up in those experiences.
7. They say ‘I’m sorry’ all the time
Victims of narcissism over-apologize for little things. It’s like an automatic reflex leftover from being made to feel at fault for everything by their abusers.
Imagine someone accidentally steps on their shoe yet they’re the ones saying sorry, that constant criticism messes with their sense of responsibility.
It leaves them always on edge. They fear getting into big trouble over tiny mistakes at work. Psychologists explain how this constant blame sticks, it makes them apologize for things they didn’t do.
Therapy and support can help them break this cycle and rewire that automatic response. These victims must realize they no longer have to carry that weight around.
8. They avoid eye contact during conversations
Avoiding eye contact in conversations can be a thing for people who’ve been through narcissistic abuse.
Imagine whenever you speak up, you get shot down or criticized which might make you uneasy about locking eyes with someone while talking.
Psychologists think this comes from feeling constantly put down by a narcissist it’s like a reflex, your brain worries eye contact might mean more hurt. So when you try to chat, looking someone in the eye might feel like opening yourself up to criticism. Experts say it’s a shield against potential harm it is a protective move that sticks around even after escaping the abuse.
9. They hyperventilate when proving a point
Proving a point can be a stress trigger for people who’ve dealt with narcissistic abuse. Suppose you’re at work presenting an idea in front of everybody, suddenly you’re all jittery and can’t catch your breath. Your body has gone into overdrive to back up your words.
Psychologists say this hyperventilating thing often comes from how their abusers constantly dismissed them before. Imagine feeling like what you said never mattered for ages, it messes with your confidence, right?
When they’re trying to make a point, the anxiety hits hard, they’re fighting to be understood they’re dealing with all that history in the middle of a discussion.
10. They brush off compliments
Narcissistic abuse can make taking compliments feel like navigating a tricky maze. Dr. Ramani, Durva Sula, clinical psychologist puts it this way.
“Narcissistic abuse can leave victims feeling like they’re wearing a t-shirt that says Don’t compliment me I’m not good enough.”
So when someone says you look great today, or you did a fantastic job, they might respond with a quick “Oh this old thing” or “It was nothing”.
They avoid basking in the positivity. Their mind has this shield that protects them from feeling vulnerable or exposed by the compliments. Psychologists explained that victims of narcissistic abuse often internalized the belief that they were not worthy of praise.
Understanding the weird habits of those abused by narcissists sheds light on the lasting impact of such relationships. From excessive apologizing to seeking constant validation. These habits often stem from a history of manipulation and emotional trauma. Recognizing these behaviors can be a step toward healing and reclaiming one’s sense of self.
If you identify with these habits, seeking help and surrounding yourself with a supportive community can make a big difference in your recovery journey.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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From The Good Men Project on Medium
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Photo credit: Caique Nascimento on Unsplash