Welcome to the Covid World

Hi everyone! This is our weekly Call with the Publisher. We’ve been holding these every Friday for almost 9 years. Every Friday at 3 pm EST / Noon PST. Join us!

____________________________________________________________________________________________________

Looking To Connect During These Isolating Times?

Call In To One of Our Social Interest Groups. We run moderated calls on an array of topics Mon-Thurs 8 PM Eastern. Our Convocasts are like Podcasts but with YOU in them, and the perfect antidote to ‘social distancing.’

____________________________________________________________________________________________________

Today I want to start with a personal story. My daughter Allie is in her last year of Med school and just got accepted to UMass Medical center for her residency, with a track in surgery. Any guesses as to what percentage of Surgeons in the US are female? It’s 19%. At any rate, Allie is supposed to have her graduation at the end of May and start her residency in July — but they are now fast-tracking her graduating class, so she can go to the front lines to fight COVID-19.

So, on one hand, I am super proud of her for battling sexism and creating gender equality, and on the other hand, I’m scared for her life. I feel as if she had just been drafted into a war.

Welcome to the new world.

—
I want to talk about how historically, we’ve seen men have trouble asking for help. So if I can give you one bit of advice to help you get through the pandemic, it’s this. Men (and everyone) — get help!

Get personal economic help, get govt help, get medical help, get mental health help, get relationship help. Now is the time to create positive change.

Reports indicate the economy will not bounce right back. Not for a while.

And I want to talk about another stereotypical gender role we see: Men as the provider. Now, don’t get me wrong, it is great that men want to be providers for their family.
But when that becomes the end all be all — it also leads to things like heart attacks, taking on the dangerous jobs, alcoholism, isolation, disengagement with kids. etc. And the popular narrative would say: “But I’m the provider! don’t you see how hard I work! I have to make sacrifices.”

That’s on an individual level. But what happens when that scales up? What happens when uur government leaders see themselves as the “providers” for their cities, their states, the US? And what happens when things get bad, or really stressful, and they make bad decisions like “stop social distancing to jumpstart the economy again.”
Isn’t it the same as: “But I’m the provider! Don’t you see how hard we’re working to fix this! Sacrifices must be made!”

—

Finally, I’d like to end on an upbeat note and talk about music. When the Vietnam war protests were going on, music was seen as one of the huge drivers of cultural change. Maybe that will happen again.

Last week we talked about people in Italy singing from their balconies. I have two other stories — one video showed police driving through narrow streets, warning people to shelter in place — when all of a sudden they jump out of their police car, pull out musical instruments and start serenading the neighborhoods.

Another is a group of 3 roommates in Barcelona. One plays the guitar, one drums, one trumpet. And they went up to their rooftop and started playing a song that included some lyrics about quarantine. Posted it on social media. It was a hit.

So then they decided to

Please stay homa / don’t want the corona / it’s ok to be alona

And then halfway through the song, one of the guys pulls out a cellphone to reveal a friend, a popular reggae singer, performing from his apartment — but joining in and harmonizing with the guys from his home. it is beautiful!

…it’s called ‘the bright side”

<<< lively discussion ensues >>>

Here are some nuggets of insight from our callers

Anthony Simone — “Diversify what gives you worth. Don’t have your identity revolve around such narrow constructs that if one of them disappears, your self-worth goes also.”

Mike Kasdan — I heard this great quote which reflects what we do at The Good Men Project — “When we pick up one thing in the universe, we find it is attached to everything else.”

Mark Sherman — “Men reaching out to each other just to talk…It’s not something men tend to do. We always think there needs to be a reason.”

Charlton — “I know the deep need to be a provider as a man. When my wife became the breadwinner so I could focus on a volunteer job as a pastor — it was challenging to not be a provider. And changing is not the easiest thing to do.”

Mike — “Sports is a currency as the way we talk — losing that everyday currency means we lose something in everyday conversation.”

Mark Sherman — “I said to my son, big sports fan, ‘now that sports have been canceled, we’re going to have to talk about feelings’.”

John — I play racquetball with a friend, and we talk whenever we play racquetball. My friend has been hit really hard financially because of the Coronavirus. I texted him to tell him I was available to talk if he wanted. And the only thing he texted back was, “I know”. He didn’t want to talk without that racquetball.”

Mike — “The day that the pandemic became really real was that one day when all the sporting events were canceled.”

Charlton — “I’ve reached out and connected with some distant family members for the first time. We’re all checking in on each other.”

Christine — “I’ve been advising people who want to date that this actually is a great way to get to know each other better before progressing to meeting or physical intimacy.” … people can get on skype, facetime or zoom. For a date, you can NetFlix watch movies together, cook together — be creative! When asked if we will run out things to say, my response is “if you run out of things to say after a few online conversations, that probably wasn’t the right person for you to begin with.” know a couple who has been married for 53 years and never run out of things to talk about. And I’ll end with, married couples used to schedule date time — now they schedule alone time.

LISTEN TO THE DISCUSSION HERE:

JOIN THE NEXT CALL:

We have The Good Men Project calls with the Publisher are held every Friday at 3:00 PM EST (12 Noon Pacific)
Call in, listen in, chime in!
Dial In: 701-801-1220
Access code: 934-317-242

The Good Men Project is a “Participatory Media Company”— you can be an active part of the conversation about the ways in which the world is changing in the 21st century. We talking about some of the most difficult and important issues of our times with others in the community. Join us! Become a member here: goodmenproject.com/regsitration

—

This post is republished on Medium.

***

The Good Men Project gives people the insights, tools, and skills to survive, prosper and thrive in today’s changing world. A world that is changing faster than most people can keep up with that change. A world where jobs are changing, gender roles are changing, and stereotypes are being upended. A world that is growing more diverse and inclusive. A world where working towards equality will become a core competence. We’ve built a community of millions of people from around the globe who believe in this path forward. Thanks for joining The Good Men Project.