‘We’ll Have More Sex in 2026!’

My (31F) partner (31F) said this to me a couple of days ago, and I haven’t been able to stop thinking….BUT I DON’T WANT TO BE A NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTION!!!!!

I don’t want duty sex the night before couples’ therapy so my partner can report their good deeds to our therapist.

I don’t want to hear, “but we just had sex,” or “but we’re going to therapy,” and “but we haven’t tried everything.“

I don’t want to explain myself anymore or defend my feelings.

I don’t want to cry myself to sleep anymore over broken promises and empty silences.

I don’t want to have an entirely separate “sex life” in my head than in reality.

Most of all, I don’t want to constantly question anymore whether the person I’m having sex with even wants it at all.

I want engagement, participation, real connection…

I’m tired. I’m so damn tired. And I think I’m finally done choosing self-abandonment.

Another dead bedroom tale as old as time.

There are always promises.
“Tomorrow.”
“This weekend.”
“When we are free of the kids.”
“When we aren’t tired.”
“Soon.”

Until one day, there isn’t an excuse or a promise. It’s just a shrug or silence.

What then?

No more unfulfilled New Year’s resolutions.

Have you stuck with your New Year’s resolutions so far? Studies show 80–90% failing. 62% of those making resolutions feel pressured to do so.

This lady above doesn’t want yet another failed attempt. She knows how dismal the statistics are.

Recent research has shown that just 9% of Americans actually keep their resolutions throughout the year.

What really works with setting a goal and sticking to it?

• The beginning of the year is irrelevant. Make the change work with your internal intentions.
• Expect obstacles and find a way to overcome barriers with frequent check-ins and pep talks.
• Set goals into measured and smaller chunks.
• Write down your goals and set up a way to be accountable for them.

What are you sticking to?
Not sticking to?

Are you part of that 43% of adults who quit their New Year’s goals by the end of January?

Tell me in the comments.

There’s no easy solution for an entrenched dead bedroom.

No amount of empty promises will resurrect it. It’s an icy wasteland where you both grow farther apart.

Yet, you can leave.

I did. I got out and started over. I decided that I was worth fighting for. My self esteem mattered. I was tired of living on scraps.

May you find your path forward.

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