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After graduation and in between finding a full-time job, I did sales… more specifically, I did network marketing A.K.A MLM or multi-level marketing.
I was new and learning the ropes. In network marketing, it’s important to network. Like duh, it’s in the name. And so, I did that. I found groups on meetup.com, went to BNI sessions, and many other networking/social events.
It was great! I learned a lot from different people and grew confidence through social events. Most people were impressed that a 21-year-old is networking so confidently with business owners who’s been in the industry for more than 10 years.
Someone agreed to meet up for coffee
Other than networking events, I did cold calling too. Calls after calls, I’d get rejected but it’s okay. Everyone in this field knew that it’s a numbers game. So I didn’t give up.
A property agent agreed to meet up for coffee. The location was a little out of my way but hey, I really wanted to close that deal.
There were signs everywhere
Right from the moment I sat down, it was clear he didn’t have the right intention. But I was naive. I thought to myself, ”he’s just being friendly”.
What’s weird was he thought I was a domestic helper. Um, dude… I cold-called you about a marketing software you could use for your real-estate business.
“It’s okay. Maybe I just have one of those familiar faces,” I thought.
Do you need a ride?
Things clearly weren’t going as planned so I bid farewell. That’s when he offered to drive me to my next destination. The lights were flashing yet I ignored it. Again, I felt it was a friendly gesture.
The moment we sat in his car, he locked the door. That’s normal, right?
“Sure it is; safety first,” I reassured myself as I looked out the window. That’s when I felt his hand on my thigh.
Oh, snap. Red alert! I wanted to get out now. But we just entered the expressway.
I tried moving his hand away but he added pressure. By now, I was freaking out. Jumping out of the car at 80km/hour wasn’t an option unless I wanted to die. So, I pushed his hand away again and tried to distract him by talking about his wife and kids.
HE HAS A WIFE AND CHILDREN. Could this man get any more inappropriate?
Going to the beach
He insisted on going to the beach and relaxing. No way in hell was I going to a secluded place with this middle-aged, married man.
“My friends are waiting for me somewhere else,” I rejected, hoping he would let me out now.
“It’s just for a while,” he argued.
As he talked about the beach and how much money he has (I don’t give a crap if you’re a millionaire), I was secretly messaging my friends. They started panicking with me before my friend called my phone.
Conversation with my friend. Let’s call him Kyle.
We tried to paint a picture that I was late in meeting them. Hopefully, he would let me go.
“Hey, are you okay?” Kyle asked.
“Yeah, I’m fine. Sorry, I’m still on my way. I’m along the ECP towards Changi Beach,” I said, making sure the ‘realtor’ know that someone has my location.
“Do you want me to stay on the phone?”
“No, it’s okay. I’ll see you in 15 minutes.”
He finally lets me go
After the phone call, I turned to him and pressed on that I’m late for my next meeting. He immediately exits the expressway and let me out. My friends called me again to make sure I was safe. And I was still shaking from the experience.
That was one of the scariest 30 minutes of my life. Anything could’ve happened. My friends commended me on being calm and handling the situation well. If I fought him, he could have lost control of the car.
I didn’t handle it well. I could’ve taken down his plate number and real-estate license. Make sure this man wouldn’t repeat his actions. I didn’t because I was a coward. I couldn’t let my family know what I went through. My dad would just blame it on me for being stupid. I knew my brothers would make it their mission to find the guy and start a fight. I didn’t want them to get in trouble.
The Aftermath
Since that incident, I always second-guess people’s intention no matter how sincere they appear to be. I stopped going to networking events for a while. When I do attend a social gathering, I’ve lost all the confidence that I had built and my anxiety worsened.
It really sucks.
Some people blamed me for meeting a man alone. Some pointed out that I willingly got into the car.
We shouldn’t have to fear going out
Nobody should be fearful of being offered a ride. Nobody should be cautious about receiving compliments. Nobody should have to be afraid of “giving the wrong signal”.
What happened to just being a nice, decent human being?
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This post was previously published on www.medium.com and is republished here with permission from the author.
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Photo credit: unsplash.com
As I read this article I could only think about my 14 year old daughter – what would she do in this situation? Would she use techniques I have endlessly preached? Would she call me instead of her friends? This is definitely a conversation I will have with her. As for you young lady, and I am sure you have heard it before: this is a scary world, in all its wonder and beauty, albeit, a scary world. I feel for you that you now have this anxiety, and rightly so, but please do not let this incident bring you… Read more »