What If The Definition of Being ‘Productive’ Changed?

The dictionary definition of ‘productive’ from Cambridge UK says ‘resulting in or providing a large amount or supply of something’ and ‘having positive results’ while the US version says ‘causing or providing a good result or a large amount of something’.

Since even before we started school, we have been drilled to be productive.

But productive in what sense? Have we ever asked ourselves what and why?

It is because we as human beings are the machine and the product. Our bodies and minds are machines. They work tirelessly day and night. And what we do produces results, hence the product. And we were taught that this is the only way our world can function.

In our result-driven society, we’re always told ‘we need to be productive’.

Every second counts.
Every minute you’re not doing something useful, you’re not productive.
You’re wasting time.
Time waits for no one.
There is no time to waste.
You have to reach a certain goal by a certain age by a certain time.

Just thinking about this as I’m writing and regurgitating not even half of what I’ve heard in my short lifetime is draining.

And I’m exhausted.

I’m exhausted with our world. I’m tired of playing catch-up to time. I’m frustrated with our society and the things we deem as important. I’m sick of all the unnecessary, silly standards and rules we hold ourselves to. I’ve grown weary of all the stupid fights and political conflicts happening in the world when the solution is right in front of our faces but we conveniently choose to ignore it to fuel our egos.

When I was working back home as a film commercial director and assistant director, I barely slept. Sometimes, I’d survive on five hours of sleep in a week. People who knew didn’t say anything much either because that was the industry we chose to work in. No one had space for an ounce of sympathy. We couldn’t stop working. The second I did, my boss would think I wasn’t hardworking. All he or anybody wanted was results. It doesn’t matter the amount of effort, time, and energy put in. If there are no good results, you’re not productive.

And as the pace of the world escalates, so does the expectation of productivity. One job role is no longer just one job description. One position wears the hat of many jobs under one label. Cut the manpower, increase the responsibilities, and up the workload. And well, the money doesn’t go up either and even if it does, it barely covers the extra things we have to do today compared to ten to thirty years ago.

So my mind has developed a bad habit. I would have a mental to-do list and if I didn’t complete that list for the day, I would beat myself up because I wasn’t productive enough. Being from Singapore, an overly efficient country, that feeling amplifies ten times. It is a strange feeling for people here in Canada to tell me to ‘take it easy’ and that it is okay not to be productive.

Honestly, it doesn’t exactly make me feel any better. On the contrary, it had a reverse effect on me.

Trying to slow myself down made me more anxious. I can feel my anxiety swelling in my chest as the mental to-do list piles up at the back of my mind. Even when I try to relax, my mind is still working overtime trying to figure out the math of procrastination and what days to move the tasks to. I feel weak for not being strong enough to accomplish the things I set out to do.

…

Today, I decided to take a me day. But I find myself spiraling in the same mental vicious cycle, my guilt sprawling like a drop of ink in clear water just for wanting to give myself some me time. The word ‘productive’ echoed in my head like a sergeant’s voice.

And then, something clicked.

What if I change the idea of being ‘productive’?

Why does being productive have to mean doing something that creates results for work or career goals or school homework?

Why can’t it be a personal productivity where I invest time and energy in myself? Not in terms of learning new skills or doing a job or something that produces external results. But in terms of doing things that fulfill my heart and nourish my soul. Things like having a slow breakfast with some bread and tea while watching my favorite show, doing a forty-minute introspective yoga, a twenty-minute meditation, an hour nap, and journaling.

Some people would say that’s a luxurious life to have. Only people with money can do that. People like us can’t afford it.

Well, I don’t have a luxurious life and I never came from one. But it’s painful to watch my soul wither away. It’s time I revive it.

Doing the aforementioned activities also takes time and effort. Doing inner work is also work. You’re not limited to just yoga, journaling, or meditation. You get to do whatever serves your inner being.

So then it boils down to priorities.

And we all can make time for that. We limit ourselves by saying ‘we don’t have a choice or the time’ when the truth is we all know we do. When that choice falls on our lap, we actively choose to brush it away and replace it with something else we don’t actually have to do but choose to do to escape the inner work waiting for us.

We have to realize that it is worth it for the good of our hearts and souls rather than a waste of time.

Nourishing my soul gave me the energy and a healthy mental space to write this piece; this piece that has been sitting in my mind collecting cobwebs for over a year.

Perhaps it’s also time I learn to let go of control. Maybe there’s a reason why something clicked in me today. Today’s experience finally helped me understand in-depth what true productivity is in my own definition.

Today was just meant to be.

Why don’t you start doing something for yourself for a change? Even if it is just one small thing a day. ☺️

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This post was previously published on medium.com.

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From The Good Men Project on Medium

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