Unfortunately, I’m not really able to answer that question for you.
It’s not because there isn’t an answer — there is.
It’s because the answer is different for everybody. And since I don’t know you, you’ll have to answer the question yourself.
In fact, that’s how this question most often has to get answered. Sometimes we meet a person or read a book or have an experience that points us in the right direction. Until then, we often attempt to find the meaning of life through…
Travel
Lots of people today, especially younger people, have tapped into the amazing opportunities that we have to travel the world and see lots of cool places. For some people, this is a journey of self-exploration, and sometimes their itinerary is guided by a spiritual quest. But as Ralph Waldo Emerson writes in his essay Self-Reliance: “Traveling is a fool’s paradise.” Some people may disagree, but I don’t think you need to swim with dolphins, hike up to a Nepalese monastery, or skydive in order to find the meaning of your life.
Work
This is by far, the most common way people attempt to find meaning in life. Unfortunately for most people, this path doesn’t really work out so well in terms of finding meaning. Either they get fired from their jobs, or they look for a better one every few years. Oftentimes the tasks that they’re paid to do for 40 (or many more) hours each week have nothing to do with who they are inside or what they wanted to be when they grow up. But even so, it just becomes too easy to resign yourself to immediate necessity and let that fill your life up to the point of not even having a desire to consider something more meaningful. However, for some people, this results in a…
Midlife Crisis
Some individuals reach a breaking point. The divergence between their actual life and their own internal compass of meaning has grown into a Grand Canyon sized rift. Suddenly they decide to break free from the jail or rote and routine and grasp for something — fun, escape, adventure — when what they’re really looking for is meaning. Sometimes the midlife crisis results in a restructuring of priorities that indeed translates to an awakened sense of self. Sometimes it just results in a motorcycle road trip to Las Vegas.
“Traveling is a fool’s paradise.”-Ralph Waldo Emerson
What matters most to you?
Of course, there are other ways that people try to find meaning in life. But they don’t need to travel, get lost in their work, or have a breakdown. They can just sit and think about what matters most to them, and then start doing more things that move them in that direction.
So what matters most to you? For many people, this can be broken down into a few categories:
Family and Relationships
Family and Relationships are the most important area of life for some people. These are the people who would not want to take an awesome job in a different city if it meant moving away from their parents or friends. These are the people whose primary choice of a weekend activity is a date with their spouse or a family get-together. These are the people who would rather spend time with their kids than sequester themselves in the garage and work on the car. For people who find the most meaning in connection through family and relationships, it’s important to embrace that side of yourself and factor it into the decisions you make.
Work and Self Expression
Work and Self Expression are the most important areas of life to others. These are the people who run their own business and love what they do, or who are very happy climbing the corporate ladder. These are the people who have been doing the same delivery route or driving a Taxi for years, just because they like what they do. Into this category I would also put people who like to express themselves, such as musicians, artists, performers, and even teachers (as a former teacher, I know that a big part of teaching is performing). These self-expressive people get a special joy in being productive, whether it means crunching numbers to identify sales metrics or painting a canvas.
Personal Growth
Personal Growth is an important area for others. These people derive a special pleasure from emotional and spiritual explorations of their place in the universe. These are the people who go to Yoga everyday. These are the people whose bookshelves are filled with self-help books, and who sign up for growth seminars. These are the people who go to their house of worship every week or day (depending on their religion) and are regularly engaged in studying their faith-based texts. People who find significant meaning in personal growth need to factor its importance into their decision making.
Think about your own life…
It’s important to realize that most people have mixed interests in all three areas, and that these areas overlap. For example, someone whose primary interest is found in the self expression of their work might sign up to go to a business seminar, which one could view as part and parcel of personal growth. But even though most people will internally be invested in all three areas, there is usually one area that matters most to them.
Think about your own life and the things that bring you the most joy. Is it your work? Is it those weekends when you get to paint or play at an open mic? Is it reading motivational books and articles? This is probably your path toward meaning in life. Keep in mind that you will need to occasionally make trade-offs. For instance, there may be an important family get-together that coincides with an open-mic you really wanted to play at. The choice is yours…but remember that you don’t live in this world alone.
At the same time, I’m a big believer that you don’t have to sacrifice what matters to you in order to “be normal” (whatever that means). For example, if playing guitar is your true passion, in this day and age of internet and social media, you can make a career out of it. It just requires lots of hard work. Sure, it’s often easier to get your paycheck from a day job, but with the right amount of elbow grease you can reach a place where your daily YouTube live is generating money from sponsorships, and you’re doing what you love.
So embrace the search for meaning and don’t give up. Personally, I believe that a person’s measure of success in life is how close they get to their Creator — and not how much money they made, or their resume, or the size of their home. However, I believe each person has a different path towards that spiritual enlightenment, and that each person is created with a different set of unique skills and interests…which often translate into their inner desires.
Embrace what matters to you, and start taking steps in that direction. You’ll find that meaning of your life is closer than you think.
If you enjoyed this article, please follow me on Medium and share it with your friends!
And please take a look at Business Lessons I Learned from Fairy Tales, one of the books I’m currently selling on Amazon. Through classics like “Snow White,” “Sleeping Beauty,” and “Hansel and Gretel,” we examine the ins and outs of what makes a successful business work.
—
This post was previously published on Change Becomes You and is republished here with permission from the author.
—
***
If you believe in the work we are doing here at The Good Men Project and want to join our calls on a regular basis, please join us as a Premium Member, today.
All Premium Members get to view The Good Men Project with NO ADS.
Need more info? A complete list of benefits is here.
Talk to you soon.
—
Photo credit: Pixabay