There is plenty of research done to identify the fundamentals of successful relationships. From being trustworthy to being honest to being generous, the list is endless.
But it can all be ignored.
There is one foundational thing that determines whether your relationship with any human will stay or not. And that is UNDERSTANDING.
Understanding is the foundation of lasting love.
It comes from a genuine interest in listening to the other person’s wants, desires, complaints, and unmet needs.
Humans do not hate disagreements; they hate being told or made felt that their opinions do not matter. What’s unbearable is not leaving a larger part of the pie for our loved ones but rather not being ever acknowledged for it.
We need acceptance for who we are and we will happily tolerate not always being agreed with who we are.
Money, beauty, and fame can never buy the kind of love that listening can!
What we love is staying around those who feel no pride or compunction in readily saying, I can hear what you are saying and how much this matters to you, I get it. Or because I love you, this makes me curious, tell me more. [Credits: School of Life]
These people too will annoy and frustrate us. And we will disagree with them and have conflicts with them. But we will not fall out of love with them. Even after the flaws, we will not break up.
Because at the end of the day, we can assure ourselves that there is someone who understands us and therefore, feel heard and respected.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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 The Lack of Gentle Platonic Touch in Men’s Lives is a Killer |
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