The manipulation is subtle and the realization often comes too late.
Over the past 6 years, Donald Trump has systematically abused the American people through lies and manipulation. He has successfully victimized millions of the most unlikely people. In both Presidential elections that Trump took part in, his base remained the same. White, middle-class, men with no college education. While there are clearly outliers in the group, that demographic continues to make up the largest portion of his followers.
The majority of Trump supporters are not Proud Boys. They’re not white supremacists. They’re not anti-women or misogynistic. They are truly the salt of the American way of life. These are the guys who grew up in a small town. They help you move, they have backyard BBQs, they go boating on their weekends. They are hard-working, family-raising, God-fearing, American men. Good men. And, they are being exploited in a way that has never been seen before.
To stop the abuse, we have to first recognize it.
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It’s All Here — Be Sure to Click The Links
When we shine the light of truth on his words, Trump shows his hand over and over.
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Donald Trump works hard to give the illusion that he is just like the men to whom he is speaking. He chooses not to talk about his own college education and in fact, it is left out of some biographical information available online. He calls out other politicians using language that one might hear at a corner bar and punctuates words like “truth” while actually giving very little information and often outright lying.
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The use of fatalistic language while also giving his victims the idea that they are more important than anyone else is a common tool utilized by Donald Trump. This is a clear use of the reality of white privilege. These men have been told quietly and systematically their entire lives that they are the ‘ruling class’ and that they ought to have the best. They believe this, though they often don’t even know they do.
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As with any abuser, Donald Trump creates an illusion of conspiracy when he speaks to his followers. He makes the situation urgent and proclaims himself the only one who will do what is necessary. They can’t count on anyone else, but they can count on him, he tells them. He carefully crafts the image of himself as a “common man”, leaving out his born with wealth, elite lifestyle, and rich friends.
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Apologies are often tools used by abusive persons, they may be given often and yet seem insincere. They may be given rarely, used as a sort of carrot on a stick. The apology will often include some sort of victim-blaming or sympathy garnering language. The one thing that will almost always be present is an attack on someone else who is “worse”.
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The use of this sort of language “it’s hard to explain” is one way the abuser creates sympathy for themselves in the minds of the victims. Donald Trump tells his followers often and in so many words, “People don’t understand me.” This tactic is used to create an individual bond with the victim, subconsciously the message is, “they don’t understand me, but you do and I understand you, too.” This furthers his agenda by fostering the “we’re in this together” feeling while forgetting that he is actually part of the upper echelon that he rails against so often.
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The truth has no value to an abusive person. Donald Trump has consistently and repeatedly both before and during his Presidency made outrightly false statements. They are, however, confirming falsehoods that many of his followers already believe, validating their beliefs to foster a false sense of unity.
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Abusers work constantly to convince their victims that no one else cares about them, this creates a divide between the victim and the rest of the world. Donald Trump regularly makes claims about the things he is doing that no one else has done, these claims are often disingenuous and sometimes outright lies.
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The process of grooming a victim is often ongoing, even as the abuse is escalating. Donald Trump repeatedly alludes to behavior that would be easily viewed as unacceptable by most Americans. He will deny his intent when questioned and use common gaslighting tactics against the questioner. Yet, clearly, he did warn us all that he would like to give being “President for Life” a try someday.
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Abusive people like Donald Trump uphold their own virtues and use outright lies to make others look bad while they are openly engaging in the behaviors they rail against. Here, he rails against the very process used to bring his wife’s family to the US. It should also be noted that way he represents the process here is not what it looks like in reality.
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Donald Trump’s ego is no secret, which is common with abusive persons. He regularly strokes his own and uses any chance he can find to tell the stories of other people who think he is as amazing he does. He tells these stories even when they were provably untrue, counting on his loyal victims to believe his words.
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The use of vague unprovable language is common for abusers. This allows for many defenses including denial and deception. Donald Trump routinely says a lot while saying very little and regularly comes back with personal attacks, victim-blaming, or claims to be a victim when questioned.
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Donald Trump frequently used overt threats against those who dared to question him to prove his alpha status to his followers. This is a common tactic used by abusers to “show” their victims that they are powerful and can use that power at will.
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In Conclusion — Go Click on the Links Before You Finish — The Information is Out There
It is important to understand that the people who are most affected by the rancor and lies spewed by Donald Trump and those in his circle are the same men who come from a history of supremacy that they were never forced to face.
They don’t recognize the bias in their own lives or the privilege they enjoy because they have never been presented with it in a real or meaningful way.
The towns and counties they live in are are predominately white. They have no real frame of reference for the case that Trump and other Republicans in power say is being made against them. When they’re told that their way of life is “under attack”, they believe it, even if they don’t really see it.
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It’s hard to understand if you’ve never sat down with these men (and women) but it’s a fact.
They have no real proof that elimination of systemic racism, green energy, foreign aid, immigration reform, et al will negatively affect their lives. They’ve been sold that lie by angry and abusive men who actually WILL lose power when these changes are made. And, because of the cycle of abuse that they can’t see, they believe it.
The story that needs to be told and told loudly is that it is not the lives of these American men that will be altered by social progress, it is the power of the men in charge that will be lost. That is the real reason behind the vitriol and hate espoused by these elites. It is not out of care or concern for the everyday American, it is fear of losing control.
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This post was previously published on Equality Includes You.
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