Men need to take more accountability of what they say in regard to women.
For any derogatory comment men say in regard to a female, we are degrading and devaluing another human being. What we say matters because of how much implicit power we are given in social situations; a power we should not have, nor deserve. The old adage goes:
“Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.”
Yet, our words have a meaning. The meaning carries a message and is funneled through someone else’s perception. That perception then becomes one’s reality and spreads like a virus to others around them. Before you know it, one comment from one man about one woman then transitions into yet another unfair and unnecessary implied expectation for all women. These words may not hurt someone physically, but it does not negate the notion that they hurt in some way.
These messages carry a weight; they involve a burden that gets passed down from female to female.
Men need to capitalize on their privilege as men and use it to spread more actions and messages intended to advance, uplift, and empower women. I have heard many people say that the negative messages said about women stem from the media. Yes, the media provides mixed messages, but men are still responsible for whether or not they either perpetuate those messages, or choose to disengage and rather develop initiatives to combat those messages. Again, men need to take more accountability of what they say and do in regards to women, regardless of the influence they have received.
Let us not forget about the comments that were said about women by political leaders that get referred to as “locker room talk.” The fact is this kind of talk happens everywhere: the locker room, restaurants, bars, business meetings, at the the dinner table, etc. The problem is many men are not using their ability to defer from engaging in this kind of talk out of the convenience of acceptance. Men, we are epically failing women, and we can definitely do better.
If we continue with doing whatever it takes to be accepted by other men, we will continue to abuse our privilege and ability. Much of that privilege we do not deserve to have anyway. Additionally, this never-ending cycle will continue to defer men from engaging in and spreading feminist ideologies, which can contribute to having a level playing field. Granted, there are plenty of men in this world putting in the effort and doing the work to empower women. That work is not going unnoticed or unacknowledged by me. However, the approach may not be perfect, which is why I am asking the question to anyone who is willing to answer:
What MORE can men do to educate other men about negative messages and actions toward women?
This problem does not have a quick-fix or overnight solution, but continuing to have the conversation that others may not want to have can get us there.
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“Before you know it, one comment from one man about one woman then transitions into yet another unfair and unnecessary implied expectation for all women.”
Yet, the female who the comment was may about may very well have deserved it. I’ll listen to you when people stop attacking #notallmen and insist on their right to say derogatory and demeaning things about men even though they fully intend to paint ALL men in this way.
Education starts from father to son! This is men to men education!