I was born and raised in Tuscaloosa, Alabama. And even though I lay my head in New York, Tuscaloosa is still my home.
Tuscaloosa is home to two of the finest barbecue joints on God’s green earth – Dreamland, and Archibald’s. And I greatly miss them both.
And while that previous paragraph may land like an opinion, this is backed up by cold, hard, empirical facts. I know my ‘cue, y’all.
For the record, barbecue is a noun, not a verb. One doesn’t barbecue a steak. One grills a steak! I’m gonna teach these yankees before I’m through up here! #getoffmylawn
I have discovered a pretty solid barbecue joint up here called Dinosaur Barbecue. It’s a small chain in the northeast that apparently extends as far south as Baltimore. You wouldn’t think quality ‘cue could be found in a restaurant that originated in upstate New York.
They’re legit. If it passes my muster, it’s legit. They’re damn good.
The location I go to is in nearby Stamford, CT. And I’ve become a semi-regular.
This isn’t a restaurant review. I want to talk about someone I met there who has gotten me present to something pretty remarkable about myself.
Let’s call her “Lucy.” She’s a bartender and server at this restaurant. She’s incredibly friendly. She always takes the time to talk to me – and deeper than just “how are you today?” Actual conversation. She’s witty, funny, and pretty stinking cute.
And if I didn’t know better, I’d think she had a little thing for King Ryan. And I wouldn’t be against exploring things with her either.
When I had dinner there the other night, she seemed off her game. She wasn’t as outgoing and as witty as she usually is.
She broke down and told me that it was not only her birthday, but she shared some pretty deep stuff with me that had her in some upset.
Again, this was more than simply “you want another beer?”
She’s also a Monty Python fan! Why am I overthinking this again?
As I left there, I started thinking about all the times I had people spill their guts out to me and how annoyed it made me.
I stopped myself. And I said out loud “Maybe this is my superpower?”
People are comfortable around me. While I was in Accomplishment Coaching, I developed a reputation of being the team Dad. People feel safe around me and love sharing their souls with me.
I’m reminded of another story that happened several years ago.
I was friendly with this guy. We would go to the gym at the same time. I wouldn’t consider him a friend. He might consider ME a friend. Nothing against the guy, he wasn’t someone I’d choose to hang out with.
I walk into the sauna at my old gym in Alabama one time, and he’s in there. Some small talk was had. I mean, it’s a little awkward to have small talk when you’re in a sauna both wearing nothing but your BVDs.
He was a little off his game. I asked what was going on…and that was a mistake!
He goes off on this 30 minute thing about how he was trying to reconcile with his wife for sake of their daughter. He confessed they’d had sex a few times. But she was still seeing the guy that she left him for.
Flashing forward, I found myself frustrated as I was in the shower. “Why did this guy keep me so long?”
It took a couple years, but I got present to why he did that. He saw me as a comfort.
Here’s another thing!
I swear, not writing a piece for Good Men Project for over a month, I’ve got a lot of stuff built up.
I have a lady friend. A brilliant, talented, and beautiful lady friend. I find her very attractive.
She shared something with me by email a couple months ago that floored me flat! It was something about her own past from which I had no idea. And I consider this woman a pretty good friend.
I think I have figured out why people do this. Especially woman – attractive women at that.
I’m safe. I’m solid husband material. I’m handsome but I’m not devastatingly good looking.
Who I am is a safe, warm fireplace. People are comfortable around me, and that is my superpower.
Love is sharing your soul with another. And as soon as I become comfortable sharing MY soul with another is when I’ll find love.
And love is my superpower. But this isn’t the shirt ripping, passionate love that you find in a romance novel.
I like to call my love, ‘rocking chair love’. This is the kind of love where you’ll find yourself in your 90s and sitting on a porch with your love, rocking your golden years away.
I want to pose an important question to you: What is your superpower?
Here are a few places to look for you:
- Why are people drawn to you?
- Why do people stay with you?
- Who are you at your most comfortable and confident (like me and the fireplace.)
- What do you love most about yourself?
I want to know! Send me an email at [email protected] and let me know! I want to help you find your superpower.
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Announcement (this is cool)!
- On Sunday, October 14 at 7:30 eastern time, join me and my friend and colleague Melissa Molinero for From Pain To Power. It’s a virtual workshop where Melissa and I will share some simple ways for you to reconnect with your power and your purpose following a life loss. Be it a divorce, illness, job loss, relationship change, or the death of a loved one – we all have grief around something. Melissa and I will share some ways you can reignite your purpose to bounce back better than ever! It’s only a $50 investment. Reach out to me or Melissa if you have any questions.