When Effort Became a Liability

It is easy for folks who “made it” to say, it was “all hard work.” Some say it was luck while others might say it was timing.

A hundred years ago, when I was in my twenties I got the wild idea of making T-shirts. Personalized painted T-shirts. I got out my acrylic paints, I went to Target and bought a three pack of Fruit of the Looms and ripped off the sleeves. Don’t chastise me, that was the style in 1985. I began thinking of ideas and I littered the first shirt with statements. “Experience Life Before It goes Away” was one of them, “Strive Towards Excellence” was another and for this column, “Timing is Everything!”

Red letters, blue letters, black and yellow lettering, I did the front and the back hoping when or if I ever wore it people would strike up conversations.

I got one. You see, back then, and now too, I’m a hairy guy. My shoulders had more hair than the top of my head did today. I know that’s not saying much, but it did elicit a statement. It wasn’t about the shirt.

I was at the door of my new girlfriend, her mom opened the door and her first words, “Oh my God, did your mom mate with a bear?”
She let me in and not more than fifteen minutes later she was telling me I would one day marry her daughter. This wild-looking shirt didn’t get her to ask questions about the sayings as I recall, but it did initiate what she said were her psychic abilities. I laughed about that; I was twenty-five years old and didn’t want to believe any of that. But the seed had been planted and fourteen months later we were standing in front of a priest and I was saying vows for the second time in my immature lifetime.

Now forty years, uh huh, really, forty years later, I have a different viewpoint. Many things have happened, and time has been both friend and foe.

At that point I was pursuing a certain career and chasing an opportunity so large I found it to be a herd of elephants instead of just one. When you bring a herd of elephants to the door, they tend to make a mess. Don’t think about it, that’ll help.

In my case the company I worked for wasn’t ready and never would be ready for a herd of elephants. When I put my mind to it, I began setting up the metaphorical hunt for the elephants. (No elephants were hurt in the writing of this column)

From where I sat, four desks from the boss, I thought the boss wanted the whole herd. He came to me one day while I was loading my ammo onto the computer to be printed in a huge document and he told me to concentrate first on the elephant in the room and leave the rest of the herd alone.

I still had hair then so when I scratched my head a few strands came with my nails. It was the beginning…

There are many lessons in life. Not one will shape you, but many will make you strong, weak or dead. Dead inside is what I really meant. You see, as you fight the good fight, as you try to tangle with tigers or elephants you get bloody. If you stand on the sidelines you only watch and wonder why in the world would I try if I see that guy being eaten alive.

That’s the price you think you pay for success. You may not think this way, but I did; I thought, if I put in the effort, position myself correctly and deliver, then I could hang the metaphorical tusks on the wall.

My intentions did not match the model inside that building. They did not want the herd, they just wanted the hyenas that hung around the elephants. The loud, boisterous accounts, that could easily be serviced with a little bit of sustenance.

I was an elephant hunter in a parade of hyenas and there wasn’t room for me. Was I too big? No way, I was positioned incorrectly. Funny thing, it always appeared to be wanted, but when it came time to deliver, they changed their minds.

You see, my efforts never paid off as they were promised.

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