m popular enough in a few places to receive fan mail. I think it’s absolutely fantastic, and it usually makes my day. However, it’s not all rainbows and sunshine in terms of fandom.
I’m in some Single White Female nightmare
I’ve been writing professionally for nearly a decade. I have a solid following across my platforms, and that’s a situation I’ll probably never get used to. It’s flattering. I love my fans; they’re the greatest.
But there’s one woman; she’s in a whole different category.
Allow me a moment to digress.
In addition to writing, I’m an advocate for women leaving domestic abuse. I also work with women leaving trafficking. It’s the work I do to feel good about myself; I’m no hero. I have managed to help a few people, and I hope to help a few more.
I often have women write in and tell me their stories. I have a little side operation that I’ve been running for years where I’ll Uber women out of their danger zone to a shelter or pay for a hotel for the night until the shelter opens. I’ve found that if they don’t leave right when they feel brave enough, they generally won’t end up leaving. My plan works, and I’ve funded it out of my own pocket for years.
Gianna
A few years back, a woman answered one of my columns about domestic abuse and told me her story. However, it wasn’t just one email; it was a series of about twenty of them. And it didn’t add up or make sense, as she was claiming abuse, yet there was no abuse in the stories.
Also, she had adult children who had gone out of contact with her. I’m a firm believer in the fact that if your children go without contact, you’re lying to yourself and everyone else if you say you have no fault in it.
The emails were slightly scary also, because she had taken little details from my life spread across my stories, then strung them together as though we were the oldest of friends. Like she knew everything about me. So, I sent them over to my right-hand man, the most logical person I know, Brian.
Brian said, “it’s probably restraining order time”. I should have listened.
Her Trip to Florida
A few years ago, she believed she had sussed out exactly which city I lived in and traveled to Florida searching for me. Fortunately, I was living with my ex-boyfriend in a different city at the time. From what her emails said, she was here around a month looking for me.
I don’t even know how to address that, so I didn’t. And haven’t. From her emails, she assumed she would come to Florida, and I would throw open my doors and offer her a place to stay. I don’t know why someone I don’t know would assume that, but I started to get this feeling in the pit of my stomach.
Her Things Are Packed
Last night, she sent me a series of emails. She is telling me all of her belongings are packed and that she needs a place to stay. I haven’t mentioned that she is in Detroit. I have a sixty-something odd-year-old woman living 3,000 miles away, and for some reason, I should just open my home to her because she reads my column.
I wouldn’t put too much thought into it, except for that whole ‘already came here once looking for me’ scenario. I sent the emails to Brian, asking, “am I high?”
He said, “she sounds like she’s answering a Craigslist rental ad. Don’t drink, don’t smoke; I am bringing a dog.” This reader firmly believes she is entitled to my time, attention, and my accommodations because she has read my column for a few years.
It Hits Differently Because I’m a Woman
What could she possibly want from me? I have had obsessive male readers in the past—those who sexualized everything I said or tried to create relationships with me that weren’t there. But a woman?
It isn’t a woman who is attracted to women, so what could she possibly want? With men, you know exactly what they want from you. With women, it’s as though they want to be you.
I’ve looked her up, and she’s a real, actual person from where she told me she is located. That didn’t make me feel better at all, really. But I know where to send the paperwork when I end up having to file a restraining order, at least.
Of all of my frightening fan encounters, this one has me more than a little on edge. I can’t lie, I’ve added a couple more cameras to the security system because I feel like this could go sideways.
I’m thinking about taking a vacation to an out-of-state location for a bit. Somewhere where I can hear tires leave the paved road, that sounds just about right.
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Previously Published on Medium
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