Get the measuring stick out. Keep your pants on. But see how you stack up on these 5 variables.
It turns out size is important in relationships at least on 5 dimensions:
Is your EGO the size of a Winnebago? If so, try parking it at the door.
Egos often develop to an unwieldy size from trying to win out as the alpha male with a showy, expensive convertible.
Let’s face it, sizable egos are tricky to work around. Guys, you are demanding attention to feel good about yourself, typically from your partner and often for no good reason. A large ego makes you oppressive and overbearing, full of fluff with an unfounded, inflated sense of self.
Picture the guy who auditions on American Idol and believes he can win, though he can’t sing a note and never rehearses. He is blind to his lack of talent because in his head he believes he is a star just waiting to be discovered.
Compare him to the guy who has an incredible voice but doesn’t fully believe in himself and his talent.
In order to have a successful relationship, you don’t need an incredible voice. Nor do you need to be showy about the value you bring to the table. All it takes is the ability to feel good without unreasonable demands for attention from your partner.
Was your SELF-ESTEEM flattened by a bulldozer? Must be time to inflate it again.
So your self-esteem suffers because you can’t remember what you were supposed to pick up at the store on the way home from work. We get it.
Self-esteem comes from how you interact with others. Having others appreciate your strengths will build your self-esteem. i.e. “He is so responsible and trustworthy since he remembered to stop at the store on his way home.” Sometimes you first have to establish or discover your fine qualities so others can notice and recognize them.
Self-esteem should naturally occur as you have success in life. If you haven’t had wins or were criticized growing up, sometimes you don’t have what you need to feel good about yourself.
Stepping on other people may lower their self-esteem but it doesn’t increase yours. To be successful in a relationship, you probably don’t have to remember what you were asked to pick up (at least not every time) you just want to make enough good decisions so you can honestly feel great about yourself and what you have to offer your partner.
Is your HEART three sizes too small, like the Grinch who stole Christmas? Try giving for a change.
Guys might have a small heart from stuffing feelings when they’re told it’s not macho to express emotions and cry.
Do you feel empathy toward others? Or do you find it annoying when people tell you their troubles? Does your heart go out to homeless people or children in need? Or do you find yourself shaking your head at their audacity in asking for help and the inconvenience they cause when you have to walk around them?
Do you feel far removed from people to whom any hand out would be welcome?
What really happened in your life to shrink the size of your heart? Were you put down as a child so now you don’t put yourself in others’ shoes?
A relationship is stronger when both partners have hearts large enough to have empathy for each other as well as those around them. Ironically, being vulnerable and not stuffing your feelings is also one of the easiest ways for men to connect with their partner.
Might as well have tiny EARS since you’re rarely listening? Larger ears would improve the amount and quality of your listening.
It makes sense if you have small ears from blasting music through massive speakers (because after all, size matters, so only the largest speakers will do.)
Do you have an intense urge to rush off when people tell you their troubles? Maybe you zone out when others talk? Or you’re just figuring out what you’re going to say next?
Successful relationships are built on communication so taking time to understand, paying attention to the feelings behind your partner’s words and engaging by asking questions will definitely flex your listening muscles. And who knows, maybe those ears that have been subjected to loud music will get the hang of tuning into the battery of words hurled your way.
Is your WALLET stuffed to overflowing with bills? You could try giving to keep its size manageable.
Sure you have a large wallet and we know it is from saving up for that huge flat screen TV you lust after for your man cave.
Surprisingly, it turns out there is little correlation between the amount of money you have and how happy you are.
If you’re feeling a bit bored with your life, find some worthwhile causes to support while you’re designing the perfect TV–centric man cave. Maybe the local center needs funding for a community garden. Or the big brothers association is looking for support for a holiday event for young boys without dads. Who knows? Perhaps your man cave would be the perfect spot to host an event.
Your partner will be so charmed by your giving spirit, they will be talking about it for years.
So size really does matter, especially if you’re looking to have a remarkable relationship. Best dimensions for success and happiness? Aim for a small ego and wallet paired with a large heart, ears and self-esteem and you will be well on your way to launching one unbelievably BIG, fulfilling life.
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Photo: Getty Images