When to Make the First Move 'For Dummies'

One of the hardest things for men growing up in the dating world is knowing when to make a move.

The good news is, this is something that gets easier with time. You start to pick up on cues and you can read people a little better.

However, if you’re reading this, chances are you don’t have that much experience… Don’t worry! That’s why I’m writing this. I want to help you.

After reading this article, you will be better equipped to know if now is the right time to go in for the kiss!

To be clear, I am a man so this article is more directed towards straight males, but can be applicable to others as well.

…

The chemistry is undeniable.

The first, and most obvious point sign… There is a lot of chemistry between you two.

What does chemistry mean?

Your conversation is flowing, you’re both laughing at each other’s jokes, and everything just feels like it is clicking.

You can feel the chemistry, and when it’s there, you will know.

The problem with chemistry is that friends also have chemistry. That’s why you need a little more than just chemistry to know if it’s time to make a move.

So keep reading.

There is some physical touch back and forth.

As the conversations flow, and the chemistry grows, you will start to touch each other.

Maybe her hand is on your arm or your thigh. Even better, maybe you’re holding hands. Maybe after she laughs she leans on you or warps her arm around you.

Increased physical touch is a very obvious sign that perhaps she’s interested, she might even want to be kissed. It’s a good sign that she wants to be more than just friends and it is physically obvious.

A little physical touch is also a good way to test if she is interested. You may have to start first but don’t be a creep.

Start by putting your hand on her arm, or holding her hand. If she pulls away, she’s not interested.

That’s okay, keep talking and enjoy the night.

However, maybe she is now holding your hand. Squeeze her hand gently. Her squeezing back is often a good sign she enjoys the mutual physical touch.

But yet again, sometimes friends are a little touchy too. So you might need more signs.

Well, keep reading.

Pay attention to the eye movement.

The chemistry is there, and the physical touch is increasing as the night goes on. Now, you have to start paying attention to her eyes.

Is she looking into your eyes when she talks? Or, is she looking to the side to see if anyone else is looking at her?

One of the best signs to know if she is ready for you to make a move is if she looks at your lips a lot.

You might be unlucky and have something in your teeth, and that’s why she keeps looking. But, if you’re lucky, she’s looking at your lips because she wants to be kissed.

Maybe you still need more signs though.

If that’s the case, keep on reading.

What is she saying?

From here, there aren’t really many more signs you could ask for aside from her talking about a kissing experience or literally talking about kissing you.

If she’s talking about kissing you, asking you if you’re a good kisser, or asking you about a kissing experience you’ve had… It’s quite likely she’s thinking about kissing you.

So, pay attention to what she’s saying.

Okay, now what?

If she’s giving you all these signs and you haven’t made a move, it’s because you’re nervous, or scared, and that’s totally understandable.

Just know one thing.

It’s okay to be rejected!

After all, that’s the worst thing that could happen.

Don’t be weird about it. Just go for the kiss, and if she tells you no, then listen to what she’s saying, and don’t kiss her.

You will have other shots, with other girls, and maybe even another shot for her.

Absolute worst-case scenario… You can ask if it’s okay to kiss her, or just let her know you want to kiss her.

Oftentimes, it’ll go like this.

“I really want to kiss you right now.”

“Then do it.” or “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

There you go — You got your answer. You tried, you failed, or you succeeded. If all the signs were there, you will likely succeed more often times than you will fail.

…

Conclusion

At the end of the day, you have to give it a shot. Find the courage, and make your move. Whatever the outcome is, you still have yourself, and you’re pretty great.

If you see the signs that I listed above, you are likely in a good position, and the rest is in your hands.

But please remember, that when someone tells you no… that means no, and that’s okay. Respect her wishes.

Best of luck with making the first move. Let us know how it goes!

We love you!

…

For more relationship tips, challenges, and additional content, subscribe to The Love Letters, our free weekly newsletter.

—

This post was previously published on medium.com.

***

From The Good Men Project on Medium

What Does Being in Love and Loving Someone Really Mean?

My 9-Year-Old Accidentally Explained Why His Mom Divorced Me

The One Thing Men Want More Than Sex

The Internal Struggle Men Battle in Silence

***

Join The Good Men Project as a Premium Member today.

All Premium Members get to view The Good Men Project with NO ADS.

A $50 annual membership gives you an all access pass. You can be a part of every call, group, class and community.
A $25 annual membership gives you access to one class, one Social Interest group and our online communities.
A $12 annual membership gives you access to our Friday calls with the publisher, our online community.