Which Attachment Style Cheats the Most? What Science Says

Being cheated on is one of the most painful experiences you might deal with in a relationship. While there are many factors that play a role in whether or not someone has an affair, one of them might be attachment style.

Our attachment style develops during childhood and shapes our adult relationships. It influences how we communicate and handle conflicts, our emotional and physical intimacy needs, and even cheating.

Research has identified which attachment styles are more likely to cheat. Let’s take a closer look at what science says.

Which Attachment Style Cheats the Most?

Multiple studies have found that avoidant attachment style is a strong predictor of cheating. In fact, research has found that avoidant attachment is one of the strongest personality traits that can predict cheating.

In a recent study of more than 500 adults, individuals with avoidant attachment were more likely to cheat. Further research found that those with avoidant attachment style were more likely to think about cheating — and act on it. Avoidants were less likely to feel committed to their partners.

Why Are Avoidants More Likely to Cheat?

Avoidants require more emotional distance from their partners. They avoid emotional intimacy and value their independence. They tend to prefer short-term sexual relationships. All of these factors combined increase their chances of cheating.

Avoidants might also see cheating as a way to:

Breathe in their relationships, without ending things.
Create emotional distance from their partners, without the confrontation and conflict that come with a breakup.
Prove to themselves that they’re not trapped in their relationship.

To the person they’re cheating on, it’s painful and devastating. But to the avoidant, it’s a way of protecting themselves and creating a safety net. It’s a defense mechanism.

Which Attachment Style Is Least Likely to Cheat?

Anyone can cheat, but research shows that securely attached individuals are least likely to do so. A meta-analysis of more than 13,000 people found that both people with avoidant attachment style and anxious attachment style were more likely to have extramarital affairs than those with secure attachment style.

It makes sense that those with secure attachment are least likely to cheat. They tend to have stable, healthy relationships and good communication. They also tend to trust their partners the most.

Why Do People With Anxious Attachment Cheat?

People with an anxious attachment style cheat for different reasons than avoidants. This attachment style tends to cheat because they don’t feel secure in their relationships.

When their partners don’t provide them with the reassurance they need to feel a sense of security in their relationship, those with anxious attachment tend to seek outside validation or have a backup plan with another potential partner in case their relationship doesn’t work out. That being said, research has found that anxious attachment isn’t as strong a predictor of cheating as avoidant attachment.

The Bottom Line

Attachment style alone isn’t enough to predict cheating, but avoidant attachment style does show a strong and consistent link with infidelity. While attachment style doesn’t excuse cheating, it can offer some insight into what leads a person to cheat. It can also help you recognize patterns in your partner or even within yourself.

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This post was previously published on medium.com.