In the online dating arena for us older folks- the ones who qualify for social security, let’s say- people who are turned on by intelligence are abundant.
Not only do they want but they also need someone who is very smart. It ignites the largest sex organ in the human body, the brain.
I always liked smart, intelligent people before but now it is a dating ‘must have’. Without it, things fizzle out pretty fast.
The thing about being intelligent is that it means you have a high capacity for understanding. They can synthesize information, make deductions or inductions, come up with new connections and intersections, and all of that is a turn on!
But perhaps the best part of that ability to understand deeply is that it is adjacent to beautiful human qualities such as humility, empathy, compassion and caring. Very bright people — if they are open hearted too- are true humanistics, who value kindness and service and love too.
So when I say I am a sapiosexual, I mean that I find smart people who possess the ability to understand deeply whatever comes their way, who are aware and responsive emotionally, who care about repair of our broken, tender world, to be a turn on, I mean that neurologically I can develop a deep connection with them.
“The brain is the operating center for a complex network of neurotransmitters and neuroendocrine systems — nerves, hormones and other chemicals that are responsible for, among other things, sexual desire and response. For example, the brain transmits signals that start a cascade of reactions leading to genital arousal.” (www.healthywomen.org/sex)
So if you too think you are a sapiosexual, take my little four-question quiz here:
1.In the online dating world, do you love writing texts? Are you excited by the well crafted text, the witty reply, enticing tidbits of information and the promise of great banter?
2. Do you find small talk an obstruction to building rapport? (‘Nough said).
3. Is ‘Curiosity’ your middle name? Do you look to learn something knew from your date or to be mentally challenged? If you are more focused on how your or their hair looks than thinking about something provocative or intriguing or new, then you might not be a true sapiosexual.
4. Do you approach your date with a ‘friends first’ attitude so you can discover if you have that all important brain connection, complete with good conversation, mutual understanding, shared empathy and compassion?
If you answered ‘yes’ to all of them, then I bequeath you with the honorary title of Sapiosexual! Have fun lighting up the brain for a hot experience!
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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From The Good Men Project on Medium
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