When You Start To Maximize Your Future, You Lose What Is
When you enter into a relationship, you either live in the moment — or you constantly think about the future.
What happens when you start to think about the future of what could be, you lose sight of what is happening in the present. I’m guilty of being a maximizer in the past. I’ve always wanted to know what was going to come, what’s next. And now — I love what is. I stopped thinking about what is currently going on in my life and where I am and fully being present, and next thing you know things started to work out in my favor.
I started to fall more in love with the life that I have and didn’t want for more. My problem my whole life, is I have always wanted more for myself. It’s very similar to climbing the corporate ladder. There’s no real end in site — just an endless row of stairs that you keep climbing until you realize, it’s taking you nowhere.
What Does It Mean To Really Truly Enjoy Your Life?
It means that you live in the absolute present. You don’t think about the years ahead. You do everything how it should be and how it’s supposed to be and fully enjoy it.
It’s not that hard — in fact, the best practice of being fully present was over a glass of wine and a bowl of ravioli. As I texted my best friend planning a Christmas day out, I realized that I was truly happy being in that exact moment thinking thinking about our day drinking in the city and buying holiday gifts for our loved ones. We joked about lizard people and gossiped about high school frenemies from over a decade ago.
I was in the moment.
I walked my dog for 35 minutes and focused on making sure she was Ok for the whole 35 minutes. I laughed at her, walked with her, gave her praise and so much more. I was fully present with a dog who has no idea what the english language is and can only read body language and facial expressions — I looked down at her and she had a little puppy smile on her face and was so happy to be on a walk where she had my full attention.
I was in the moment.
I sent a text to the guy that I’m into and we texted back and forth for a little while before I told him to let me know when he gets back in town. We flirted, I sent a few texts that could imply our first sleep-over or at least him staying till dawn, and only did that. I didn’t think anything of when I’ll see him, just that I knew I would. All because I was in the moment.
There was a phase of “Mindfulness” that happened a few years ago and now it’s this. All I can say is, they both are right. As long as you are fully present in what is, you’ll be happy.
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Previously Published on medium
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