Retired 17-time WWE World Heavyweight Champion and Actor John Cena was guest on Conan O’Brien Needs a Friend with Host Conan O’Brien. John discussed his career, life, and new movie Coyote vs. Acme.
John adopted his intense work ethic when he was 13 years old. He lifted weights every day, because he was bullied. Eventually, John became one of the greatest WWE Champions, Actor, and Movie Star.
Conan commented, “It’s all the same thing over, and over, and over again. I knew I screwed up a million times, in a million different ways. But I knew my methodology when I was 13, was ‘Well, I would like to be better than I am or I’d like to take this little bit of thing that interests me that I have some ability, and I want to see how far I can push it.’ Then here I am, decades and decades later. And all these years, I’m still doing the same thing. It’s not that romantic and cool. And I’m going back at it today.”
John said, “And I think that’s what is romantic and cool. I’m gonna lean into those two words: romantic and cool. New romance. You know that’s passionate and fiery. What tugs at my heartstrings is when I see a 50th Anniversary. And that’s beautiful. When I see an old couple walking hand in hand, that’s romance! That’s cool! You know what that takes? The same fucking thing every day, and it’s not easy… To build a team, to be successful for that long, that’s romance. That’s cool!”
Conan said, “What’s funny is that we’re in this immediate gratification culture. When you talk about these things. You gotta commit to this over this many decades. You see people’s eyes glaze over.”
I’ve trained in Aikido for over 35 years, nearly 40 years. I’m Godan (5th degree black belt). I’ve had the honor and privilege of teaching about 100 black belts. In the First Noble Truth of Buddhism, there will always be suffering in life. The Fourth Noble Truth of Buddhism is the path to end suffering. Aikido is my path to end suffering. I can always be the better person, the greater man. Just train. That’s romantic. That’s cool.
When I was 8 years old, Dad scared me to my soul. Whatever I did or didn’t do only made him so very angry with me. He thought I was weak, not like him. I was not the son who he wanted. I was his greatest disappointment in life. I would never be good enough for Dad, for anyone else including me. I spent much of my adult life proving that I was good enough, that I was good enough for Dad to love me.
When I started training in Aikido with the late Mizukami Sensei, he got that I had to prove I was good enough, because I knew inside I wasn’t good enough. Sensei said, “Just train.” I didn’t have get somewhere or be someone else. For the first time in my life, I could be me. I could always be better. I could always be the greater man.
Mizukami Sensei said, “Aikido is about repetition.” I put my head down. I practiced Aikido technique over, and over, and over again. Practice makes the unnatural natural. Sensei created the space for me to succeed, fail, and grow from both. Just train.
The late Mizukami Sensei taught both Ishibashi Sensei and me. Now, Ishibashi Sensei teaches me. The purpose of Aikido is to release my fear inside me. Ishibashi Sensei taught me that the safest place to be is under the attack, in the danger. I hold my position under the attack, in the danger. I make my timing. Open up. I let go my fear inside that I’m not good enough over, and over, and over again. That’s romantic. That’s cool.
In Aikido class, I practiced yoko-iriminage (strike to the side of attacker’s head). Ishibashi Sensei said that I blocked the technique, opposed the attack. He showed me what to do. I got it. When the attacker grabbed my wrist, I moved back and turned my body. I let the attacker pass me. When I applied the technique to myself, the attacker’s face was at my hand. The attacker gave me the technique. I don’t oppose. I don’t defend. There is no fight.
That translates to anyone, to everything. I invite. Don’t oppose. Don’t resist. I look in the same direction as the other person. We see the same thing. There is no fight. There never has to be one.
Years ago, the late Mizukami Sensei said it was far more important that I’m a good person outside the Dojo, out in life. That’s the purpose of the training. When I train to be the greatest I can be that creates space for others to be as great as they can be, too.
I leverage my Aikido training working with my therapist Lance Miller to heal my childhood trauma and depression. I enter what I fear, my fear of Dad when I was the little boy, when I felt like nothing. I don’t oppose my fear. I invite it. I forgive Dad for not knowing how to be a father. He only did what his father had done to him. He didn’t know any better. I forgive Dad for being afraid inside and for being imperfectly human. I forgive myself for not being strong enough to stand up to Dad and protect Mom. I forgive myself for being imperfectly human, too. I love myself for who I am and forgive myself for who I’m not. I practice that every day, over, and over, and over again. That’s romantic. That’s cool.
We live in this immediate gratification culture. Still, everything takes time. Still, everything takes practice. Do you want to be the greatest that you can be? That takes time. That takes practice. Put your head down. Put in the work. Work on yourself, not on others. Just train. That’s romantic and cool.
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Photo by Brian Link on Unsplash
