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Q: Is the concept of “testing the waters” lost? Whatever happened to the freedom of dating before being in a committed relationship? Why do some women believe dating means devotion to only them?
Love this question! I agree, I don’t believe it is fair to ask someone to be exclusive when you are beginning to date, that is why it is called “dating”. As long as you are both honest with your intent from the beginning, I believe what you desire is perfectly fine. If you date for six months and then you both, together, agree to be exclusive, that’s different.
To see my full response, check out the full article and video article on Digital Romance, right HERE. You can also find this video and many other on YouTube, so please be sure to subscribe to Digital Romance TV
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Transcript provided by YouTube:
digital romance TV
hello and welcome delicious lens to this
edition of digital romance TV i am your
host and intimacy expert alacrity with
another one here are one of the
questions allowed why do women expect
devotion and dedication to only them
when in a dating mode whatever happened
to testing the waters with someone well
that’s a very good point it’s very funny
because normally I hear this complaint
the other way around I normally hear it
that guys want to take a woman off the
market and have her only be exclusive
with him but it’s very interesting that
you’re experiencing women that want you
to be only dedicated and devoted to them
when you’re just in the dating mode I
don’t buy it I think it’s more of like a
fear-based kind of way about going date
about going dating in fact last night I
got a text a good night Christina not
Christina Alana and the guy was like
whoops um and and I I took a breath
because the truth is of course i would
like every guy that I’m dating only to
date me not like I’m dating some money
just like two guys um but anyways that
that I think is our human nature our
fear of rejection are wanting to be
special um just that that insecurity
inside that’s human right but the bigger
more mature me responded and said hey
you have every right to be dating
multiple people as do i were both
catches and we’re not in a commitment so
not to worry and he was quite whatever
impressed with my maturity about it and
and that’s part of dating I mean it’s
not nice to rub it in people’s faces you
know I’m dating lots of people including
you obviously but to to have somebody
ask for exclusivity before you’re ready
you’re like thank you but no thank you
what I’d prefer is to get to know each
other a little better over the next few
dates and get very clear on our shared
values get very clear on our sexuality
exclusivity etc and if we’re both in
agreement then I look forward to taking
this relationship to the next level just
be straight about it you don’t have to
be made wrong because you’re unwilling
to be exclusive right away
don’t let anybody talk you into that and
also when it’s time though be willing be
willing to put two feet in because what
I also find is sometimes we will not be
devoted or exclusive for a long time
wanting to keep our other options open
wanting to not really you know sit in
the fire and discover is this the person
I want to go deep with all the way so
either direction be sure you stay
connected to its true for you inside
first and then communicate it with grace
and honesty and for God’s sake enjoy the
process of dating and for now if it’s
just a couple of dates yeah you’re
allowed to date more than one it’s okay
um one thing I would say about obviously
it needs not be said but I’ll say it
anyways please have safe sex if you are
having sex with more than one person
always be honoring to your own body and
honoring to other people’s body bodies
and I think that’s important to have a
conversation about before you have sex
if you are actually sleeping with other
people or not I think that’s safe and
honoring second the idea of having these
difficult conversations if you’re you’re
a gentleman so if you go to get her to
say yes calm there’s a complimentary
report and video series that’s very much
about what it takes to be in your heart
in your belly and your balls in that
truth to have those difficult
conversations that will elicit and bring
out the highest and quality partners but
if you withhold you’re going to attract
a partner that withholds and then
there’s going to be pain or
disappointment or rejection on some
level because both of you weren’t fully
in it fully honest from the get-go okay
and if you’re a woman watching this I
would recommend you go to how to be and
stay sexy it is my first book it’s in
its third edition still in its audio as
well so you can hear my voice and
inspiring you and believing in you but
it’s so much about our wisdom as a woman
isn’t just the spinning in the mine yes
I’m cum laude graduate Columbia
University smart girl but a lot of her
feminine wisdom is not found up here in
our logic it’s not even necessarily
found in our heart although our hearts
are very wise there’s a belly pelvis
deep in your body that will help guide
you making quality effective honest kind
decisions for yourself as a woman
I think it’ll really help you have fun
dating and navigate your truth so check
that out of here and lady and thank you
so much and I’ll see you next time on
digital romance TV did you know there’s
a three-step formula to make a guy fall
desperately in love with you go to
digital romance TV /c HH to learn a
simple method any woman can use to
capture a man’s heart and make him love
you forever again that link is digital
romance TV /c HH
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This post was previously published on AllanaPratt.com and is republished here with permission from the author.
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