Or maybe you had great sex…
And reach out, but no reply.
You’re left hurt, confused, and left with the question “What did I do?! / What’s wrong with me?”
So why does this happen?
Well first, somebody’s lack of ability to have confrontations and speak their truth has NOTHING to do with you. In fact one of the main reasons people ghost is so that they don’t hurt you, because:
1- They see the see your value and don’t think that they are enough to be in a relationship with you, so they just simply leave
2- They see that you want commitment and that’s something they may not be ready for in this stage in their life
3- They saw you at a glance and as they got to know you better, they simply realized it wasn’t a match.
So instead of confronting you and saying “Hey, I don’t think this is going to work out”… they just LEAVE!
Now, it’s good intended because they don’t want to hurt you, but in leaving… they actually DO hurt you.
So what now are you left to do?
1- Don’t take it personally. Now, if this does keep happening, it’s a pattern and patterns show us things to work on. But if it just happens once, don’t get so hung up on it.
Sometimes one of the biggest reasons I’ve seen people ghost is from a form of neediness… from you! I know for me, people would ghost because I would cling on and project into the future because I REALLLLYYYY wanted it to work, and in doing so, they didn’t feel free… they could feel the control, so they left. The needier you are the less attractive you are, so dropping the neediness and validating yourself and becoming the one instead of looking for the one like its a hunt… is going to help out tremendously.
2- Speak your truth. Now, obviously this person ghosted you so they don’t want to speak… so a text message is your best bet. The text shouldn’t come out of your hurt where you want to attack them so they can “change”… It should come from your heart, sending them to love “even though” … and should be written something like this:
“Hey, I just wanted to let you know that I had an amazing time with you. It seems like you’re going through some stuff and you’re not open to talking and that’s leaving me feeling (hurt confused), and I just wanted you to be aware of me and my feelings. You don’t have to reply to this, and I really care about you. Wish you the best.”
THAT is completely different than:
“Why won’t you reply to me?!” or anything of the like.
It’s coming at it from your higher self that’s just letting other people become aware of what they are making other people feel when they ghost. Because that’s the beauty of ghosting for them, they DON’T see how it affects you.
Maybe from this, they will reply back and grow. Maybe they never do and keep repeating the same patterns. But at the end of the day, that’s their path and not yours.
So often we are focused on trying to fix and figure out other people on what they want and what they need. That stuff is important, but we need to spend more time figuring out yourself and healing yourself so that we can become more. And we don’t need it. So we can then become the one and magnetize them to us, instead of hoping to “find” the one.
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